Despite our range of clips about masturbation to orgasm – we still get a lot of questions from women who aren’t able to reach orgasm on their own or with a partner. Masturbation is such an important part of sexual confidence – we hope to dispel any concerns or answer questions you have!

1) Firstly, masturbation doesn’t necessarily involve insertion. Since we’re led to believe penis equals vagina it’s no surprise some of us think the key to orgasm is through our birth canal. It’s not. Our clitoris is our primary sex organ. It is the body part in which the nerves and tissue centering on physical sexual pleasure are located.

And therefore, for most women, clitoral stimulation is the key to orgasm. If you are unsure of where your clitoris is, check out this video by Dr. Yvonne Fulbright Guide to the Clitoris.

2) One can arouse excitement and heat through clitoral play in a variety of ways. You can use your hand, a vibrator (or vibrating apparatus like electric toothbrush!), or the bathtub facet.

The bathtub approach uses the water from the spigot to stimulate our clitoris. It’s done by turning on the faucet to a pressure that’s strong but not gushing and a nice warm temperature. Get in as the tub fills. Position your pelvis/vagina so that it is tilted upwards directly under the stream (your legs/feet are resting on the tub/shower wall).

You want to make sure the water hits your clitoris directly and provides a nice, consistent pressure. The positioning may seem awkward at first but hopefully you’ll get used to it and find it’s worth it!

3) For manual stimulation help, check out this Introduction to Masturbation video by Jamye Waxman. It provides a lot of great techniques …

4) Don’t worry if it takes a long time to climax! It can take a while – 45 minutes or more — especially when we’re using our hand. There’s nothing wrong with one who takes a long time, particularly during early masturbation, while we are learning about what type of pressure, touch and strokes work best for us.

5) Using your hand is great because it’s always available (and silent), yet it can cramp after a while. If you find it’s hampering your enjoyment or tendency to indulge, you may want to consider getting a vibrator. For information on vibrators, check out this video: Guide to Vibrators.

6) While masturbating, feel free to touch yourself elsewhere, fantasize, and take in sensations.You can also try to flex and tighten your pc muscles (the ones used to pee) as you begin to feel aroused – sometimes it helps actuate the feelings. Also, play around with your breathing. Sometime holding your breathe can add to the sensations … or deep breathing. But the most important thing is relax — take in the sensations and don’t let yourself feel bad about such an indulgence. And … if climax it doesn’t happen the first time – it will eventually.

You are not broken!!

Meanwhile, check out this video where the ladies talk about their masturbation issues. It’s a goodie! Learning to Masturbate.

Good luck and enjoy!

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