Watch Video: http:Relationship vs. Casual Sex

I think that Samantha from SATC said it best in her conversation with Charlotte when she preached, “Honey, you have to test drive the car before you buy it.” This relates to dating, sex and relationships on so many different levels:

Sometimes, a car catches your eye. It may be for just a split second and then you see it up close and you say to yourself, “what was I thinking?!” Other times, you may have some interest and then you read consumer reports, find out what people have to say, or ask your friends opinions before you make the decision whether it’s even worth to take the time to test drive.

Sometimes when you think that the car may be a good fit, you just have to get in the seat, rev it up and enjoy the ride. Hopefully it’s a good ride, and you aren’t disappointed. Sometimes that’s all you need to get it out of your system, or sometimes you go back for more with a higher level of interest. Regardless of whether you want to invest or not, you can hope that you enjoy yourself during the time you are engaged with the vehicle. Usually, you’ll need to test drive on multiple occasions, during different kinds of settings, scenarios and terrain, just to see how the car handles. The before making any serious moves you need to ask yourself questions…

- Do I feel safe?

- Can I trust this car?

- Does this car look good? Is it in good shape?

- Do I look good in this car?

- How is this car going to affect my life/lifestyle?

- Am I going to have a good time and enjoy myself in this car?

- Does it have a lot of miles?

- Will it need a lot of work?

- I wonder what the previous owner was like and how they treated it (if applicable)

Sometimes you won’t know the answers to these questions until you have the opportunity to test drive other cars to see what’s out there. You may realize there is a much better fit for you, or that your first choice was right from the start. Whatever the case may be, there is a lot of trial, experimenting, and thought that goes into buying a car. Hopefully it is an enjoyable experience trying to find that right one…whether it is just a lease or you end up buying.

A lot of people plan to just lease a car because they think that it’s the most comfortable option for them in their current lifestyles. Perhaps that’s true. Or sometimes, they will lease in the beginning and when that period ends, they will take the plunge and buy it right off the lease if they still enjoy it and everything seems to be going well.

Some other people prefer to explore all options and then make an educated decision to commit and buy. While others (who I find to be in the small minority) can just buy it right off the lot without even a test drive! To each their own.

Anyway you look at it, I think that relationships are like car loans, after 5 years you should either own it or trade it in for a new one. Personally, I’ve been leasing a great model with a strong intent to buy…

The deep throat is not necessary for all BJs, although it is important to keep in your bag of tricks. It is like having a really bold lip gloss color…you aren’t going to wear it everyday, but you should be prepared if a special occasion or whim arises…

A lot of women say, “Oh no, I choke and gag…I can’t do it.” Well, that may be because they aren’t doing it the right way. Some women will try to shove the penis down the back of their throat…that is why they gag. Now for those of us that may be blessed enough to be born sans gag reflex, this is fine. For the rest of us, the trick is back and up. There is a space between the top of your pallet and where the roof of your mouth meets the uvula. It’s soft and feels a little spongy, test it with your finger first to make sure you know the spot. That is the target for the tip of the penis. When the penis goes into the back of your mouth, guide it up in that spot and you can even apply some pressure to it by pushing down on the head a little. This pressure will usually feel like you are swallowing it whole, which is generally most desirable for your partner.

It is very challenging to give a deep throat only blow job….nearly impossible I think. You need to throw some other things into the mix like hand motions, ball-cupping and tongue massaging to switch it up!

We know it isn’t easy, but that’s why it’s called a job…

Check out our videos on this topic: Deep Throat Techniques,  Help With Deep Throat, How To Give Great Deep Throat

Spanking during sex is like ordering onion rings with your burger…you can’t do it all the time, you need to be in the mood, it’s not necessarily traditional, it’s not for everyone, however, for the right person at the right time, it definitely hits the spot.

A lot of women enjoy being the spanked, especially when doing it doggy-style. There is something about that second of hand on skin contact that can be so primal and hot. Often the first spank can happen accidentally or in the heat of the moment, while other times your partner may be more intentional with it. Either way, it is best for the first contact to happen after a few minutes of penetration after a rhythm and mood is established. The best technique is if he switches areas or butt cheeks and mixes the slapping in with some rubbing to smooth out the initial pain. This is a great time to bring some dirty talk into the mix to tell your partner if you want more, how hard, and how you like it. Bringing in the verbal communication helps your partner understand what you like and how to please you.

On average, men tend to be more of the spankers while women tend to me more of the grabbers. A great grabbing position is on your back, sometimes with one leg over his shoulder and grabbing his ass for more control over the penetration. This technique seems to be a win-win because on the bottom you can still have control and can target your G-spot, and he can get deeper inside you.

We talk about masturbation often on Cherry TV because it’s a great way to learn about our bodies and comfortably connect with the feelings that turn us on!

There are many benefits to masturbation…..

It is the safest sex we can have that gives us all the pleasure without any unwanted consequences- no std’s, no pregnancy, no problem!

It allows us to get to know our bodies better and know what pleases us. We are taught how to take charge of our orgasms ourselves rather than passively having them-or not having them.

Once we know our bodies then we can transfer that knowledge to our partners. This way if an orgasm doesn’t happen during intercourse you can incorporate masturbation into the bedroom.

We have a great introduction to masturbation by Jamye Waxman, one of our marvelous sex experts. You can watch it here: Intro To Masturbation

According to Jamye, men and women masturbate for the same reasons, to feel good and relax.

In the video, she gives several tips on how to masturbate and become more in tuned with the body’s sensations.

1) “Set the Mood”: Make sure your environment is calming and relaxing. Adjust the lighting, add candles, put on the nice satin sheets, do anything to make yourself feel comfortable.

2) “Relax and Free Your Mind” : Enjoy the feelings coming from your body, fantasize, get in touch with your body with self massage and enjoy the ride.

3) Technique “Rubbing the Public Mound” : Start by rubbing the public mound (the fatty, padded part of vagina) in either a circular or back and fourth motion. This usually indirectly stimulates the clitoris which is the main source of sexual pleasure in women. Then try to touch along the lips of the vagina and along the opening. This allows you to tease yourself and become more aroused.

4) Technique “ Stimulating the Clitoris” : When you are fully aroused, take the time to explore the clit. You want to lick your fingers or use lube when touching your clitoris so it’s nice and wet. Be gentle when exploring this area because the clit has between 6000-8000 nerve endings and it’s the only body part designed only for pleasure (we ladies are so lucky).

5) Explore: Now that you are intimately getting to know your body, this is the time to see what works and what does not. In the video, Jamye says that as you reach orgasm, clenching the pc muscles (the ones used to stop urine flow) can intensify these feelings. Also some women may have trouble reaching orgasm without the use of a toy such as a vibrator. This is ok, vibrators are excellent to use in order to reach orgasm. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to masturbate. As Jamye says in the video “Do what feels fantastic”.

We agree! And this is just one way to masturbate. Basically, any time you are stimulating yourself sexually, whether you are playing with your clitoris, fondling your vagina, inserting a clean sex toy or another apparatus (with a condom on it!! Never put anything with the potential to carry germs inside your body without cleaning or covering it!), or all of the above, it’s masturbation. If you continue long enough to climax, great! But if you get tired and stop, that’s fine too. It’s all about what feels good – there’s no rules when it comes to masturbation or sexual stimulation. Simply enjoy!

If you want to learn more, here are additional Cherry TV videos on masturbation:
Great Things About Masturbation!
Learning To Masturbate
Masturbation Techniques

Phone porn. Dirty emails. Sex hotlines. Web cams. Internet dating. It’s no wonder our Cherry Dishers have gone virtual! More than ever, communication technology is being used for the initiation and upkeep of romance. And with this ‘digitalization’ of romance have come many changes… Long-distance relationships have suddenly become much closer. And, rather than spending years looking in all the wrong places, people are simply clicking their way to EHarmony. Even as a girl who used to consider herself ‘too 90s’ for virtual love, I find myself increasingly putting work aside to watch who’s breaking and making up on the Facebook newsfeed. This leads me to wonder, “Is this just the way it is now?” Luckily, as “Phone and Text Sex” points out, many women are openly embracing the perks of going digital. After all, digital dirtiness can be a great way to spice up an existing romance or spark up a new one! Here are some quick tips for those still feeling a bit technologically challenged…

A ‘How-To’ Guide to Digital Romance:

(1) If you’re going to talk dirty, check who you’re sending to! Though she may be somewhat amused, Grandma probably doesn’t want to know all the nasty things you plan on doing when you get home from work. Neither does your boss. You get the point. Double check before sending any messages, especially if you’re quickly texting!

(2) If you’re having a bit of ‘writer’s block,’ look around and get creative. Digital dirty talk doesn’t have to be totally original… It doesn’t have to be straight smut, either, although that arguably has its place. If you’re struggling to find the right words, take a step back and look for inspiration. Have a favorite song? Type out part of the lyrics. Getting Chinese food for lunch? Send the message from your fortune cookie and follow it up with the phrase ‘in bed.’ Your partner doesn’t have to know you added a few words!

(3) If you don’t know the person… you don’t know the person! The internet can be a great resource for meeting new people. However, if you’ve ever made an online profile, you know how easy it is to throw in a whole load of bull, let alone a few white lies. Talking to strangers isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Yet, it’s always wise to take certain precautions online. Though they may seem obvious, reading over safety tips can help keep you in check, even when dealing with the smoothest of charmers. Check out: Safely-Meet-a-Guy-Through-Internet-Dating for a few pointers.

Well, ladies, welcome to the decade! Though digital romance isn’t for everyone, it’s becoming an increasingly acceptable form of fooling around. Just remember:  be safe and have fun!

Watch Video: http://www.cherrytv.com/video/phone-sex-and-digital-dirty-talk

As “Period Sex Preferences” clearly points out, there’s a wide range of feelings about having sex during menstruation. For some, it’s out of the question. For others, it’s a must. And still many others fall somewhere in between, finding it to be enjoyable (for themselves and/or for their partners) only under certain circumstances. In order to formulate your own opinions about sex on the rag, it may be useful to consider the potential benefits and risks of this sexual behavior. So, let’s map it out!

Benefits: Besides the typical perks of sex, period sex can have many unique benefits for a woman. For instance, many women report that sexual activity helps to alleviate headaches, cramps, and fatigue associated with menstruation. This may be due to the ‘feel-good’ endorphins, which are released during orgasm. Research also shows that orgasms can reduce the length of menstruation up to a couple of days. Though this may sound too good to be true, biology has an explanation: during an orgasm, a hormone called oxytocin signals a series of contractions by the uterus, which might actually lead to a shorter period!

Risks: Besides ruining the bed sheets, sex on your period isn’t a particularly dangerous activity. With that being said, there are still a few ‘standard’ risks which need to be kept in mind. If you’re concerned about transmitting STDs or HIV, make sure to use some sort of barrier method. Also, never rely on menstruation as a form of birth control! This myth needs to be put to rest, once and for all.

So, what do you do if sex or foreplay during menstruation appeals to you but not your partner? First of all, never pressure your partner into doing something that he or she isn’t comfortable with! If your partner only feels uneasy about the idea of ‘excessive’ blood, try discussing how period sex can be made a bit less messy. For instance, try taking a shower immediately before sexual play. Also, if you’re not planning on intercourse, prevent blood flow by using a tampon or menstrual cap. Both options will not interfere with clitoral stimulation. Though many people report that these methods do not completely remove the iron-taste of menstrual blood (as Tobly describes), they do reduce the amount of fluids being dealt with. If your partner still isn’t interested, don’t fret! Masturbation can bring you all of the same benefits as well as help you become more comfortable with menstruation during sex. So, all of this talk basically boils down to two main objectives: communication and experimentation. They’re sure-fire ways to attaining sexual pleasure in a way that’s comfortable for both you and your partner.

And sex really doesn’t get much better than that… Period. ☺

Watch Video: Period Sex Preferences

For years body image issues stood in the way of my having great satisfying sex. I never felt completely relaxed or confident, and couldn’t truly enjoy the encounter because a part of me was always worried that … my stomach was too big, my breasts were sagging, my thighs jiggled …I could go on and on.

Unfortunately, this video doesn’t really address that type of experience, though I am sure it is one the majority of women deal with at some point. The ladies talk about the empowerment aspects of body image and how we’re all beautiful regardless of size. And yes, that is true, but it’s a lot easier to say than to internalize, especially in this society.

So we’ll be examining the concept more since it’s a major hurdle for many of us to get over. Meanwhile, enjoy the video. Hopefully, like me, you’ll find it rewarding to hear the ladies embrace their curves!

Watch Video: Sex and Body Image

Whenever I thought about the dominant/submissive power dynamic, I had always imagined a master/slave relationship. It wasn’t until I had been having sex for a while that I realized during simple vanilla intercourse, a power dynamic was being played out.

Often it’s not verbalized, but during sex someone tends to set the pace … decides upon the position …establishes the rhythm. Granted, it doesn’t always have to be the same person – as Celeste so aptly says in the video “we throw the ball back and forth” – but regardless, there is a leader and a follower during sex.

We talk about the definitions more here: Sexual Power Plays

In lesbian relationships, it doesn’t seem unusual for the roles to be more firmly established. There’s a “top” and a “bottom” and the top is primarily in control. If the bottom wants to take control – referred to as “topping from the bottom” – it’s only through delicate negotiation with the top that this happens (Please note, I have never been in a lesbian relationship. This information is what I heard anecdotally. We welcome ANY comments regarding …).

I must say, I’m much more conscious of the power dynamic since taping this piece. Some men, I have found, are dominant through and through. Any attempt to take control is quickly squashed. Other guys enjoy be submissive. They are happy with the woman taking leading and going with it. However, in those cases, I have found open communication is super-important. Because, unlike a dominant guy who will just put you in position, a submissive guy has to be told where to go (for ex. “let’s go doggie!”). And of course, many men like both roles!

It’s such a rich topic because there are so many gray areas. Everyone’s experience is totally unique. But it’s worth noticing because the more present we are during sex, the better sex it will eventually be!

Watch Video:Sex and Power

Over the years, and we have Sex and the City to primarily thank, vibrators have become a lot more commonplace, and an accepted part of sex.  Women use them alone or with a partner.

In this video the panelists talk specifically about using a vibrator during masturbation. Two out of the five women only use a vibrator, while another two only use their hand. The fifth uses both her hand and a vibrator depending.

It seems as if the way one started masturbating is the method one turns to most.  If your first experience masturbating to orgasm was with a vibrator, then a vibrator seems to be your preferred method.  If you started with your hand, then, as Celeste says, you tend to be “a manual girl.”

I know on Cherry TV that if we encounter someone who never had an orgasm we recommend masturbating with a vibrator.  Using a vibe tends to be a guaranteed – and extremely fast - route to orgasm as opposed to manual stimulation which can take quite a long time.

It is helpful, if one becomes too dependent on the powerful stimulation offered by a vibrator, to put it away for a while and practice coming manually (because you never know where you’ll be and what you’ll need when your vibe isn’t available) … but it can be a lot of work.  But as far as work goes – it’s quite pleasurable!!