In today’s video the women talk about missionary position. They all enjoy it, and three out of the five women on this panel can climax in missionary without any manual stimulation.

I continue to find it so interesting how different everyone is!! On another panel we did (Orgasm Go To Positions) none of the women could climax in missionary without masturbating. Fascinating, huh?? I believe there are a few things at work here.

The first is simply anatomy. We are all different sizes and none of our pelvises are exactly the same shape. Also, our lovers are different sizes so while we may be able to come via missionary without self-stimulation with one partner, we may not be able to with another based upon the way his penis and/or pelvis hits our clitoris.

There’s also experience. Some women know the exact position they need to be in, regardless of and/or based upon the size of their partner, for the friction to be precise in order to come via missionary. Lucky ladies!!

In addition, I also think it depends upon the type of orgasm or feeling one is looking for while on the bottom. Some women it seems don’t expect to have a clitoral orgasm while in missionary, just a vaginal orgasm. However, some experts say there isn’t really any such thing as a vaginal orgasm, that it’s actually a “blended” orgasm that includes the clitoris and vagina — otherwise there is no release.

That said, during our discussions this last year, many women think of the feeling of intense contractions within her vagina during sex as a vaginal orgasm regardless of no clitoral–like release. (Orgasm Sensations) And while the terminology may need to be perfected, I believe the more orgasms we are able to have — the better!

So anatomy, experience and perception, just a few reasons I believe many women can’t come in missionary without helping herself along, while others can. Now let’s go practice!

Watch Video: Orgasm and Missionary

I love the concept of “go to” orgasm positions – I unfortunately, do not have one. However as the women were discussing in the video, their “go tos” tend to be with a particular partner. But some women have “go tos” they can bust out with any partner. Lucky ladies!

Personally, a number of factors need to be in place to climax during a specific sex session. It can be any combination of the following …. mentally present (me and him), sufficient warm up time, feeling emotionally close with my partner, his level of arousal/sense of desire for me, the physicality of our bodies, and my ability to self-stimulate … to name a few (heh). Sometimes they all need to be present — sometimes I can get off without any being present except my ability to masturbate

Do you have a go to? What factors need to be present for you in order to orgasm? We would love to know. There’s a ton of us out here that need help and the more information we have the better…

Watch Video: Orgasm “Go To” Positionss

Sexual Power Plays -– who’s leading and who’s following in the bedroom.  Something I rarely think about during sex, but it’s present nonetheless.  The women explain it in today’s video.

I’ve got to admit, unless the roles are totally clear, I often can’t tell who’s being dominant (or “top”) and who’s being submissive (“bottom”).  Sure, I’ll let him take control, set the pace and guide the positions, but at some point, I will get him on his back and take the reins.  I guess we’re sharing control – he’s primarily dominant but I’ll get it back for a bit.

Power play goes to a whole new level in the BDSM scene.  I personally am not there, (though a little handcuff play and spanking is always fun) but for those who are into it, it’s quite inspiring. Our girls talk about it in future videos on how rewarding it is to trust another at such a level to let them dominate you … or be trusted and value that trust in order to dominate one to bring them to a new orgasmic place.

It’s also possible to fall into a specific role by default — not because it’s fitting, but because ones partner played one role and we were left with the other.  It’s not until we were with a new partner that we realized how much more comfortable we were.

And I’m sure people play different roles at different times in their lives – depending on where they are emotionally and physically.

It’s a fascinating dynamic, power in the bedroom, one that changes for many people throughout their sexual lives.

Watch Video:  http://www.cherrytv.com/video/sexual-power-plays

So yeah, today’s video is about relationship sex – but I want to chime in about hook ups!

Getting together with someone always sounds a lot easier than it really is.  Although my boy friend and I got together through hooking up, it was six months of excruciating mind fucks and game playing (which I totally denied doing).

He had TWO other girlfriends.  One who lived over seas, and the other, this other little biddy who was totally obsessed with him.  When she found out that we had made out, she lost her shit.  And to top it off, I went to her going away party, fully knowing that I had made out with her man!

The great thing about hooking up before actually jumping into a relationship with a person, is that you get to know a lot about them.  Don’t get me wrong, you are not going to know them inside and out, but it cuts out a lot of the relationship bullshit that usually occurs within the first three to four months.  It lets you see the person for who they really are (well as much as they will allow you), and it allows you to kind of try that person on; much like a shoe. You can get to know a lot about a person through pillow talk, which of course does not happen at first, but occurs over time (there is no way that it can’t in my opinion). You have just had sex together, you are both at your most vulnerable, it can be a really beautiful thing.

The one thing that I did learn inside and out about my boyfriend, is his body!  I knew everything about his body BEFORE WE WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP! This does not sound like a big thing, but I feel like it is.  We got to play with each other and figure out what the other person likes before we were calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend, which means that there was no pressure!  It was great!  There was no awkward sex, it was like we were two grown ass kids in a sandbox (each others sandbox).  By the time that we got together I could see, move and work his body with my eyes closed. It was and still is a really wonderful thing.

Watch Video: Relationship Sex, Part 1

The videos in which the women talk about their masturbation techniques are some of my favorites!  It’s the essence of what we want to do on Cherry TV – let other women know that it’s good and natural to masturbate … that it will enhance their sex lives, and that there are endless ways to do it!

As you’ll see in this video, some women are happy with clitoral stimulation only. Others like to insert. Most of the women on this panel came to masturbating when they were older (post-adolescence). They had tried when they were younger, but didn’t get anything out of it. When they got older they incorporated a vibrator and found it really helped.

I love some of the tips the women offer.  I feel as if there is always something new to learn about masturbation (and sex!). Dual action, fun.  And in the sun – never went there, but will certainly try it out now!

It’s truly unfortunate that in 2009 female masturbation is still such a taboo/dirty subject.  I missed these episodes, but supposedly Oprah talked about it, and it the feedback she received was, shall we say, rather heated. Our friends at Radical Left talk all about it — Oprah on Masturbation.

Hopefully though with more of us talking about it, things will get better.  So many women don’t feel confident in the bedroom, and don’t enjoy sex as much as they can. That’s why we’re here!! Providing advice and helping women achieve sexual satisfaction is our mission in 2009 and beyond!

It’s interesting…I do have quite a bit of experience with a longer term relationship where talking about exact preferences was never much of an issue. A little awkwardness at first, but I usually got my thoughts out. With him, I reached orgasm almost every single time, not realizing how difficult it usually can be for most women who are not in a seriously committed 3+ year relationship.

Now I have a more typical situation. While I am not someone who sees partners in a purely casual way, I am not in an exclusive relationship where explicit communication feels 100% easy. I have been with my current partner for about two months and we spend time together quite often. I consider myself a very confident person, especially with sex, but I have realized that it is much harder to explain my needs. I still have obstacles to get over, especially with transitioning positions, but I’m really open with guiding my partners hands and using body language. I want to enjoy sex, but I also realize that reaching orgasm is not something that will always happen. That’s ok with me as long as I’m having fun.

I am always open to asking him what he likes and trying to work in a mutual way to have a good time. Sex is about me and him. It should be mutually pleasurable, and fun. I think it’s important to try to communicate with your partner regardless of whether it feels strange at first. Your partner wants you to feel good in the same way you want them to feel good. I also think that with regards to orgasms, if oral sex and manual stimulation work better (it usually does for me!), it’s not the end of the world to not have intercourse every single time we hang out.

Sometimes other forms of stimulation can be just as intimate and personal, so I never feel like I’m not reaching expectations by not having intercourse.

I’ve always found the connection between smell and physical attraction so interesting. It’s that whole sex pheromone thing – highly individualized chemicals our body emits for the purpose of attraction. Within the animal kingdom, pheromones play a large role in many species reproduction process.

The interesting thing though about pheromones is that what/who smells good to one person, does not to another. CNN.com reports “According to an article in ‘Psychology Today,’ how our body odors are perceived as pleasant and sexy to another person is a highly selective process. We usually smell best to a person whose genetically based immunity to disease differs most from our own. This could benefit you in the long run, making for stronger, healthier children.” Interesting, huh?!?!

I was reminded of this recently during a string of dates (yeah, I did it the old fashioned way – internet dating. heh). Over a period of about six weeks I went out with many men and had decided beforehand that if I found them the least bit attractive and/or interesting, I would invite him up for a make-out session (because you never know … a relatively plain guy who’s an amazing kisser all of a sudden isn’t so plain!).

Unrelated to how good the session was sometimes I needed to pop into the shower as soon as he left. Other times, I was able to finish whatever work I had to do that night (like upload the next day’s video) and hold off on the shower until I went to bed.

I’m sure we’ve all been there – partners who smell good regardless, and others, not so much. And maybe it’s not all pheromones – whether we like the way our partner smells - general body odor, perfumes, smoking, and other stuff I don’t know about most likely play a role too. But that pheromones thing, cool right? Of course, you can buy laboratory created pheromones to pump them up. But they’re expensive and you’ll have to find that link on your own.

Watch Video: Dirty Sexy Smells

The women talk about balls as being sensitive in this video, but from what I understand, they are a little hardier than we think.  That’s not to say some guys won’t flinch if you suddenly grab one, but they can be played with a little more force than we may be used to.  But still … watch those nails!!

Ball play doesn’t only have to occur during blowjobs.  Some guys dig it whenever! A tip I learned from “A Guide to Getting It On” is to have your man lie face down on the bed and lightly massage the back part of his scrotum with your fingertips.  At times, even venture towards his perineum (aka Taint – the area between the balls and anus).  It’s quite a turn on when combined with the sensation of your breasts rubbing his side and back, and your legs and vulva straddling different areas of his lower body.  Hot, huh?!?

Another ball play “how to” is to fondle them during sex.  There are a number of positions during intercourse where his balls can be reached and played with including doggie style (from between your legs), on top (reach behind) or reverse on top (hello balls!).  But if playing with his balls becomes too distracting, stop.  Orgasm isn’t easy, and sometimes it takes all our attention to get there.  As I am sure he would agree, no need to waste that energy on his balls!

I find this video so interesting because it exhibits how much control women have over their orgasms – even during intercourse. It takes a lot of practice (and confidence) but reaching orgasm basically comes down to two things –  an orgasm-friendly head-space and physical-stimulation.

Mentally, we must be relaxed and present.  No worrying about that pending project or how our breasts look (because if they’re breast – they look AMAZING!) … we need to be in the moment, relaxed and aroused – even if that involves fantasy that has nothing to do with our partner.

Physically, our clitoris (in most cases) needs to be stimulated, and stimulated in a way that feels personally good.  It it’s not being touched the way we like, whether because our partner, through intercourse, isn’t making contact or because he/she isn’t touching it soft/fast/hard/slow enough, go ahead and stimulate it yourself.  It’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to touch herself during sex – it’s actually the easiest way for most of us to get off!

That’s what the women are saying in the video even it doesn’t come across clearly … that they can always get themselves off by using fantasy and self-stimulation, even when their partners didn’t have a clue.

Watch video: Getting Off During Intercourse

Today’s episode is basically about giving cunnilingus (I wish we had a better name for this other than “eating out!”) – and whether the Cherry TV women like their partner to tell them what’s working and what’s not. Never having given cunnilingus (nor having received from a woman), I can only talk about my experience on the receiving end of a guy. And honestly, I find it very difficult to provide adequate verbal instruction.

I don’t climax easily (or quickly!!) from oral regardless, and I’ve found the boys/men I’ve been with are either already good at it, or not. But I am not able to instruct a guy into doing it the way I like. Granted, that’s on me — and maybe if I had a little more confidence I would be able to.

But then I have to decide if it’s worth it. Some men seem to learn quite quickly, others, though they are present and eager to please, still seem to forget what it is I like over past lovers. And, in those cases, when it comes to oral sex, I would rather just give them the tap and get back to fucking, smooching, and all that other fun stuff!