The missionary position is like your favorite pair of jeans—you know that it’s always a good fit that you can depend on and know what to expect. They look great on their own going for a casual feel, or you can dress them up and accessorize in a variety of ways…

Classic and comfy

Sometimes, there is nothing better than good, simple missionary sex; the “t-shirt and jeans” of positions. Having a man on top can make a woman feel very comfortable and safe in her own skin. This is also a favorite for many because it allows for a very intimate experience; it is easy to kiss, gaze at each other and hold your bodies tightly together. Don’t forget to take advantage of the close proximity of your necks, behind the ears and collar bone area. These are some of the most erogenous zones for both men and women.

Try on some options

I have a hot date; know that I need to look good but not too over the top, so I will wear my favorite jeans and pair them with a few different options and see what I like. Missionary is a great place to start to test out your sexual chemistry, rhythm and style. It is easy to give your partner control at first and then once you get a feel for it, you can start to move with him. Depending on your leg placement, you can also gain control of the movement and make him conform to you. This is also a great position to reach around and pull him in closer for a closer and deeper body-on-body feeling.

Accessorize

Don’t forget to accessorize your favorite position to make it different and exciting. Pillows, handcuffs, legs in the air; you name it and it can be done in missionary. A great way to hit your G-spot is with a pillow underneath you to create a “ramp.” This allows your partner to penetrate deeper and because your body is tilted, it feels like he is going in and up, close to your G-spot and other sensitive areas that he may not normally be able to reach. Increase the sensation by putting your legs over his shoulders giving him full access to you without any boundaries for a new take on missionary that you both can benefit from. Missionary is also the ideal position to be dominated in. You can have him pin your hands down by your sides, above your head or even break out the handcuffs for fun. Sometimes it may even be a huge turn-on for him to grab your neck and playfully “choke” you as he moves inside you, for a more aggressive experience.

So when it comes to missionary or your favorite pair of jeans, it is important to be comfortable, switch it up at times and always accessorize when you are in the mood!

Some men like it hot…but all like it wet. The MOST important foundation to a successful BJ is to get his penis as wet as you possibly can and keep it that way for the duration of the exercise. You can do this with your mouth or use lube if you prefer. If you chose to forgo the lube, you don’t want to directly spit on it, but when you first insert the penis into your mouth try to gather a lot of saliva, this should be your main goal—think slip and slide. At this preliminary stage do not worry about your where your hands are, how you look , or if he likes it…the answer is yes to all!

Once you have the penis well lubricated, you should move on to what I like to call the “V spot” - the indentations on either side of the package. It is best to start from bottom to top and lick from the top (side almost) of the ball sack up to the hip bone. Repeat on other side. Trace the lines you made with your tongue with your thumb and index finger. It is fine to concentrate on one side at a time naturally, but the idea is to be able to give a lubricated massage around the package.

So you should be able to have a pretty good introductory rhythm: hands on either side of the package, entire penis in your mouth from bottom to top, then tongue only from bottom to top.

By now, your man should be relaxed and thoroughly enjoying the situation and the penis should be well lubricated and easy to work with. This is the perfect time to bring your hand into play. Now don’t worry if you don’t think you are good at hand jobs and you had an embarrassing experience in your adolescent past, this isn’t the same as a 2nd base hand job. Grab the penis with your whole hand and start to move it up and down nice and slow. The key to good hand motion during a BJ is to keep your hand flexible, and variety. I like to start at the base of the shaft with my pinkie and then one by one fan each finger around the penis until it is enclosed in my loose fist. As you fan your fingers and close your hand tighter move up the shaft and then come back down with the closed fist. It is important to keep your hand loose and in constant motion coming on and off the penis at different levels.

It is very important not to forget about his balls – and you have a few options. If you want to go ahead and put them in your mouth, go for it….just be careful. It can be like two dogs in a bathtub, as soon as you get one in, the other will normally jump out. Don’t sweat it, this isn’t a key element. As long as you get both balls involved at some point, you should be okay (when you are playing with balls, it is ideal to keep the hand motion on his penis as to create a “full package experience”). Scared to put them in your mouth? Totally understandable. By now the entire area should be pretty wet, so you should be able to cup his balls and gently play with them as you continue with your up and down motion with your hand and mouth.

If possible integrate all of the actions mentioned above during the entire blow job. You should have a good balance of a “v spot” massage, licking the length, totally in your mouth, hand motion and balls. I like to think of it as choreography, you have the steps down, now you just have to create a routine. Good luck and enjoy!!!

And check out these videos for more help: Fellatio Hand Tips, Tending To His Testices

We’ve all seen them in TV shows and movies… the women who can orgasm as soon as they begin having intercourse. And did I mention multiple times? For three minutes straight, each? Hollywood certainly sets the bar high when it comes to women’s orgasmic capabilities, especially during intercourse. Yet, as Meg Ryan’s character so brilliantly illustrates in When Harry Met Sally, orgasms can be faker than a Hollywood bod. Back here in the real world, the majority of women (60-70%) need more than intercourse alone to hit the ‘Big O.’  The reason why is that it seldom provides the clitoral stimulation necessary for most women to be able to orgasm. This doesn’t mean that intercourse is pointless for women, though. By experimenting with techniques and positions, you may actually find it to be an excellent means for attaining pleasure and orgasm. So, go ahead and show Hollywood how a real woman gets the job done!

Tips for Increased Clitoral Stimulation during Intercourse:

(1) The Hands-On Approach: There is nothing wrong with taking matters into your own hands! Use your fingers (or a sex toy, such as a vibrating massager) to stimulate your clit while you’re having intercourse. (In doing so, you’ll find that some positions are more conducive than others. Try doggy-style and side-to-side for easy access. These will also allow your partner to stimulate your clit.)

(2) Coital Alignment Technique (CAT): Written down, this position may look too complicated to attempt. However, many people are giving CAT rave reviews for clitoral stimulation. Lie flat on your back with your partner laying parallel on top of you, resting his/her weight to either side of your body. You may want to wrap your legs around your partners’, resting your feet near the shins. (For a heterosexual couple with woman-on-bottom), your partner should then move about 2-4 inches higher up on your body than he normally would in missionary. Your bodies should rock back-and-forth against one another, rubbing the base of his penis gently against your clit. This can easily be followed by missionary position, if so desired. It can also be performed with either partner on top.

(3) Pillow Propping: This move is similar to CAT in that it will allow the base of the penis to rub up against the clit. (This might not look as thrilling on paper, but simplicity is so under-rated.) Step 1 of 1: lay a few fluffy pillows under your butt/hips during missionary. That’s it! Many women have reported that this arrangement provides greater clitoral stimulation as well as deeper penetration.

Though these techniques mainly revolve around modifications of missionary, there are countless other positions which may bring you greater pleasure during intercourse. It all depends on what personally gets you going. Ask yourself these questions: Do I prefer vaginal penetration? Anal penetration? Deep penetration? None? Do I like hard pressure? Soft pressure? A combination of both? Do fantasies help? How about meditation? Masturbation may be an effective way to figure out your likes and dislikes, in turn helping you discover what you need during intercourse. Keep in mind, though, that it’s not crucial to love intercourse or even have it, at all! There’s no need to cue Kumbaya… Happy and fulfilling sex lives do truly come in all shapes and forms.

To find out more about orgasm during intercourse, check out the following video:

Intercourse and the O

Research shows that most women cannot reach orgasm through intercourse alone. However, through cunnilingus, it seems that the majority of women are able to hit the ‘Big O.’ This may not come as a shocking surprise. After all, the clitoris receives much more attention during oral sex. With 8,000 nerve fibers, this extraordinary organ has tremendous potential for sexual pleasure. So, here’s a few tips for success on your oral.

Tips for Giving Good Cunnilingus

Communication: Talking to your partner and taking constructive criticism can be some of the most difficult aspects of a sexual relationship. Yet, communication (of some sort or another) is vital to ensure both partners’ pleasure. For specific communication tips, check out our past article on sexual communication.

Warm-up: Begin by stimulating other erogenous zones, besides the clitoris. Lick, touch, and nibble on body parts such as the lips, ears, inner arms, anus, neck, clavicle, and nipples. (Not everyone’s erogenous zones are located at the exact same locations. It may take time and experimentation to find the spots that feel best.) Why is foreplay important? This type of stimulation can result in considerable blood flow to the genitals, which most women find to be a crucial first step for good oral sex. Stimulation of the erogenous zones also increases lubrication, which helps to protect the clitoris from irritation.

Different Techniques: There are many different variations of oral sex, which can be accomplished by switching up various pressures and patterns. Try everything from light licking to sucking. (Ask your partner for advice!) In regards to patterns, a popular trick is to use the tongue to spell out the alphabet over the clitoris. This technique provides many different types of shapes and sensations. Also, experiment with incorporating vaginal and/or anal penetration. You can use your fingers or sex toys.

Over-stimulation? If your partner complains that her clitoris feels too sensitive or painful, you’ll need to immediately readjust. She’s likely experiencing over-stimulation. If you had previously been holding the clitoral hood up to lick, this may be part of the problem. Though this technique is often effective in ‘small doses,’ many women complain that it can become overwhelming. You may also want to try pausing in between licks as well as reducing the pressure of your tongue. However, if your partner asks you to stop, quit! Take it as a learning-lesson, and, if you’re both interested, try again another time.

Tips for Receiving Good Cunnilingus

Position yourself: Feeling relaxed is critical for most women to be able to clear their minds and, consequently, reach orgasm. (Much of a woman’s orgasm is dependent on her mental state. In fact, some women have reported reaching orgasm with no physical touch at all!) So, test out different positions to find what’s most comfortable for your body, keeping in mind that the position may have to be maintained for an extended period of time. Popular positions include laying flat on the back with legs bent; sitting on a bed or chair; and squatting on all fours above the partner’s face in the ‘69’ position. For more details on ‘69’, see our past article on this position.

Take matters into your own hands: Whether you don’t have a partner or you simply want to get to know your body better, there are ways to simulate the feeling of oral sex on yourself. One method is to use a ‘tongue’ sex-toy. These little gadgets have a similar texture to the human tongue. They also operate with lapping motions, rather than vibrations. To find one, search online or in select stores.

For more information on cunnilingus, check out the following videos:

Tongue Use On Us During Cunnilingus
Bad Cunnilingus from a Woman
Climaxing from Cunnilingus
Cunnilingus Positioning

Sure, it may be the most popular number in Junior High bathroom stalls… But, for many, ‘69′ is a timeless favorite between the sheets. Named after the way in which the numbers 6 and 9 fit perfectly together, this position has many variations, which allow for partners to both give and receive oral sex simultaneously. There’s partner (a) on top, partner (b) on top, side-to-side/head-to-toe, standing, and so on and so forth. Many appreciate ‘69′ for the [literal] in-your-face intimacy it requires. Yet, for others, that vulnerability is precisely what makes it an unappealing position. If you’re keen on the idea (but are still feeling a little uneasy), here’s a few tips for mathematical bliss.

Tips for the ‘69′ Position:

(1) Shower first. In ‘69,’ you might as well forget the concept of personal space. Your genitals will, in fact, be up close and personal. If you don’t feel clean, this position can be extremely unnerving. So, do whatever preparations are necessary for you to personally feel attractive in the ‘69′ position. [On a similar note, you'll likely want your partner to do the same. If you find it awkward to bring up, suggest showering together beforehand. Not only can it make '69' more pleasurable, but it can also act as foreplay.]

(2) Experiment with weight/pressure. Depending on the variation of ‘69,’ you might be dealing with the body weight of your partner on top of you (or vice-versa). To some (including Alex on this episode), this is a very positive experience. Others find it uncomfortable or distracting. Experiment with different variations in order to find an arrangement that’s comfortable for both you and your partner.

(3) Use delayed starts. In most relationships, both partners do not tend to orgasm at exactly the same moment. Therefore, it might be useful for one person to start performing oral sex before the other begins. (Be forewarned that the visual aspect of ‘69′ has been known to send many off the deep end much more quickly than in other positions. Timing will be something to work on.)

(4) Give your partner a hand. As a person approaches orgasm in ‘69,’ it’s often difficult to continue focusing on the giving aspect of oral sex. At this point, it may be useful to incorporate the hands instead. (And for those who clench their jaws together during orgasm, please take this as a friendly yet firm suggestion from me to you!)

Certainly, this position can prove to be a challenge.  Yet, for many, ‘69′ is no longer an odd number.  Tips on oral sex may also help to improve your experience…

For some general tips on oral sex, check out these past postings on our blog: Oral Sex Topics

Also, find out more tips on our episode Oral Sex Tricks

In today’s episode, the ladies dish out their experiences with the ‘elusive’ G-spot.  Stimulation to this area of the body has been reported to cause intense, often multi-orgasmic sensations.  Yet, for some women, the G-spot still seems like more of a mystery than a reality.  For those still looking, here’s a guide to help you ‘hit the spot’ on your own or with a partner…

How to Find Your G-Spot:

(1) Get in the mood. The G-spot is normally only about the size of a pea but, with sexual arousal, can swell to the size of a walnut.  This increase in size can obviously make your search much easier!

(2) Feel for texture. Some people describe the tissue around the G-spot as rubbery.  Others describe the surface as crinkly.  The location of the G-spot varies slightly between women, so don’t get frustrated if it takes a while to find.

(3) Once you feel the tissue, apply pressure.  The G-spot is located within the vaginal wall, not outside of it.  Therefore, you may need firm, steady pressure to get it stimulated.  (The ‘come hither’ motion described in this video can be a really helpful technique.  To do this, insert a finger or two into the vagina and then curve upwards towards your belly button.)

(4) If you find the sudden urge to pee, bravo, you’ve likely hit it! (Just so you know, stimulation of the G-spot actually leads some women to release a fluid, called ‘female ejaculation,’ which is not urine.  If you still find it embarrassing or uncomfortable, try putting some towels beneath yourself beforehand.)

Though manual stimulation can be the easiest way for a woman to find her G-spot, it certainly isn’t the only way to hit it.  The G-spot can also be stimulated during intercourse, though some positions may be much more useful than others.  For instance, ‘doggy-style’ has been reported to be helpful for achieving the right angle.  Another position to try is a standing position. The woman stands at a dresser or table with her elbows on the surface. The man enters from behind and together they experiment with various types of thrusting and positioning to figure out the best angle and depth of penetration to use so that his penis hits her G-spot. However, this position won’t work for everyone because the height differential is a certainly a factor.

Sex toys can also be a useful way to hit the G-spot, especially since some women find the hand-angle uncomfortable to maintain during masturbation.  Check out some of our past episodes to learn about toys specifically designed to hit the G-spot:

G-Spot Basics
G-Spot Orgasm

When embarking on your G-spot search, keep in mind that not every women gets pleasure from this type of stimulation.  Some women who find the G-spot report feeling nothing.  Others find the sensation uncomfortable.  If it’s not working for you, let it be.  This does not make you dysfunctional!  No matter what, try to enjoy the time you take getting to know your body better.  Who knows?  You might even find some other great surprises along the way!

Many men seem to think that when a woman is on top (aka cowgirl position), she’ll climax. Sure, for many women it’s relatively easy, but for others it definitely is not a sure thing.

One variable is the degree of hardness. As Callie mentions in the video, being on top is a great way to get things going because you can straddle him when he’s not that hard. However, if he stays less than rock-solid, or becomes softer while in the position, reaching orgasm is more difficult. The key is for our clitoris to receive direct stimulation, and when a penis is less than super-hard, that stimulation isn’t as powerful.

Then there’s also the precise position while on top. Many women like it when they are sitting upright and moving their pelvis up and down. As Katie discusses, this works best either when the man manually moves the woman, or when he waits for her to set the rhythm, and he follows along (or, in some cases, does nothing!)

Other women like leaning forward while on top, basically being chest to chest with their partner. They find that configuration is better for clitoral stimulation. And while in this position a forward and back motion, as opposed to up and down, tends to work best.

Also, there’s the manner of staying comfortable. Many positions can become physically demanding after a while, and being on top is one of them. Our legs can become uncomfortable, our thighs can become sore … and all this while we’re trying to experience the pleasure of the moment and reach orgasm.

Yes, some women’s go-to orgasm position is on top, and we applaud them, but it’s not universal. It feels good for a while, but many women would agree, eventually it’s nice to move on.

Watch Video:  Sex On Top