Women of the world, I’m begging you: Never, EVER fake an orgasm again.
Exhibit A: You.
How in the world to you expect your partner to know you’re unsatisfied if you fake an orgasm? Nuff said. You’re not doing yourself ANY favors by going all ‘When Harry Met Sally’ on his ass. It’s completely and totally counterproductive. Sure it can be fun, sure it can give him a little boost in the self-esteem department, but all it’s going to do for you is ENSURE that you’re probably never going to have an ACTUAL orgasm with him. Ever. Which brings me to:
Exhibit B. Men.
Listen ladies, there’s a fact about our bodies that we have to face. We’re kind of complicated. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But the more women out there going apeshit after a couple meager thrusts, the more likely you are to come across a man who thinks that’s all it takes to pleasure a woman. They really BELIEVE it. Trust me, I’ve seen these guys in action.
And you know what? It’s not their fault, it’s OURS.
When we fake orgasms, we’re telling our menfolk that it’s that easy! We’re filling their heads with silly ideas that they will go on believing until they are corrected. And trust me, they will not be corrected easily. How many of you out there have had a man look at you like you’re some kind of alien when you told him you didn’t come? The truth is, he’s not an asshole. His EX is. When you fake it with him and send him on his way, you’re just making it harder for the next gal that crosses his path. It’s a vicious cycle, ladies, and it’s time for it to stop. We shouldn’t have men running around demoralized when their lady needs a hand (or a vibe) to get off, and we DEFINITELY shouldn’t have them running around thinking that their lady isn’t normal when she doesn’t come after three minutes of intercourse.
Exhibit C: The Sisterhood.
It’s time for us to stop letting men believe that their cocks are all-powerful.
It’s time for us to stop letting other women be shamed for needing a little help to have an orgasm.
It’s time for us to start getting real about getting there.
Now, let’s be fair. Every woman, every vagina, every clitoris and every orgasm is different- and every time two people have sex, they have to figure out each others bodies to get it right. HOWEVER. That’s only part of the reason you might be having trouble with your partner. The rest, in my humble opinion, is this mass conspiracy against women getting off. Who knows when it started, but it’s time for it to stop. Men need to get comfortable with the time it takes to please their lady. Women need to get comfortable with themselves.
Whenever a woman tells me that she’s faked it, there’s one little fact I always make sure to remind her of.
When you fake it, you’re telling yourself and your partner that you don’t have the right to a real orgasm. And that’s just crazy. Sure, you can have great sex without coming. Absolutely. But never should you ever believe that orgasm just isn’t in the cards for you. It is. For all of us.
And listen, I know you’re going to tell me that there are times when faking it works. One night stands, insecure boyfriends, whatever. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT. No excuses, ladies. Every fake orgasm makes it that much harder for the rest of us. And for you. It might be a hard habit to break, but you’ll thank yourself when you don’t have to sneak off to the bathroom with your vibrator in the middle of the night so you don’t wake up your husband. And we, the sisterhood, will thank you when your one-night stand comes our way tomorrow.
So for you, for your man, and for all the ladies in the world who think that they can’t come, they shouldn’t come, or that something’s wrong with them if they don’t: Get real, ladies. Don’t fake it.
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