I recently received a question on the Cherry TV site from a woman who has been faking orgasm while with her boyfriend, but reached the point that she wants to experience it for real. She also mentioned that she doesn’t know what an orgasm feels like — that’s she’s tried masturbating, but hasn’t had any luck. I would like to print my response here because it seems as if this situation is not so unusual.

Firstly, we would suggest getting a vibrator. There are a number of places you can order one online – and no one will know you’ve purchased one. (Babeland.com; Sextoy.com). Most women, we have found, tend to orgasm quite quickly by using a vibrator on or near their clitoris.

Now that you know what it feels like, you can either continue using the vibrator, or switch back to your hand during masturbation recognizing that it may take longer than you originally thought (at least at the beginning!) to reach the point of climax.

Second, and this is a hard one, but if you are able to, talk with your partner about it. If he knows, then together you can work on your orgasm … you can communicate during sex as to what feels good and what isn’t really doing it for you. And I’m sure he would want to know … not only because he cares for you, but because it will certainly make him a better lover long term.

One note, many women aren’t able to orgasm through intercourse, especially those that have only recently begun climaxing. It’s not easy because many positions don’t allow for direct stimulation on your clitoris.

However, climaxing during sex is wonderful, so there are a few methods you can use to obtain this feeling. One, if you are able to climax manually at this time during masturbation, then go ahead and stimulate yourself during sex. Doggie style is great for this, and so is missionary if your legs and his torso are positioned so that you can fit your hand in. A few men will be insulted because of this, but most think it’s really hot. Plus, if your partner knows that climaxing is a problem, he’ll welcome the self-stimulation!

Second, if you aren’t able yet to orgasm from manual stimulation, then you can consider using your vibrator during intercourse. There are also the vibrating cock rings, but they’re a little awkward, because they don’t tend to work when the man is simply thrusting.

Another approach is basic trial and error. By working together with your partner, you can determine what positions enable his pelvic bone to rub against your clitoris. Some popular ones include:

1) You on top, leaning forward, and moving back and forth instead of up and down.

2) Him on top, your legs are around him, and his body is positioned lower than traditionally so that his pelvis hits your clitoris.

3) Him on top, with your legs straight out in between his, so you are basically griping his penis and thrusting so that your clitoris is hitting the base.

Lastly, if you are still not able to have an orgasm during sex – (and don’t feel bad about it!! There’s **so** much to think about during sex, it’s not surprising it’s difficult to relax and climax) and you feel comfortable doing this, you can masturbate with your partner there. A nice way to do this is having him fondle and kiss you while you masturbate so you both are involved. Believe it or not, it’s actually quite fulfilling.

We also have a bunch of videos about this including:

How To Help Him Help You Reach Orgasm
Masturbation Evolution
Masturbation Techniques
Favorite Orgasm Positions
Best Positions For Climaxing

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