Okay, I’ll admit it, I fake it – a lot. I’ve actually faked it more than I have had an authentic orgasm during sex. And I’m not just talking intercourse here – it’s difficult for me to come when someone else is involved. On my own – done and done. But during sex — when he’s going down on me, using his hand, or during intercourse, I become self conscious, worry about taking too long, and can’t come. I fake it because I’m embarrassed.

Unfortunate, huh?? Women are supposed to come during sex with a man, right? At least that’s what mainstream media would have us believe. Therefore, those of us who can’t climax feel inadequate and unwomanly.

I know, I know … faking orgasm is not a good idea for many reasons – it sets a precedent with that particular partner and it validates the belief that women orgasm the same way men do (intense thrusting in and out). In defense, it’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I’m even comfortable having sex. For years I worried I wasn’t a good lover, and hence couldn’t relax in bed. Now (greatly because of Cherry TV!) I’m confident and easy-going, and open to just enjoying the process.

Yet, I fake orgasm. Often, I don’t really have to do anything except give a little squeak. Recently though, I’ve been telling the guy I’m with that it’s not easy for me, so not to expect much (granted, I’ve still faked it in some of these instances). I’ve also busted out my vibrator to help things along.

For now though, I’m not going beat myself up for it. Knowing I can fake it allows me to be sexual and not feel sexually deficient. I’m ready to trade that for truthfulness.

Here’s a Cherry TV video on it: Faking Orgasm

And here are some other good links:
Orgasm Help from iVillage
About.com’s Faking Orgasm Overview

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