It’s interesting…I do have quite a bit of experience with a longer term relationship where talking about exact preferences was never much of an issue. A little awkwardness at first, but I usually got my thoughts out. With him, I reached orgasm almost every single time, not realizing how difficult it usually can be for most women who are not in a seriously committed 3+ year relationship.

Now I have a more typical situation. While I am not someone who sees partners in a purely casual way, I am not in an exclusive relationship where explicit communication feels 100% easy. I have been with my current partner for about two months and we spend time together quite often. I consider myself a very confident person, especially with sex, but I have realized that it is much harder to explain my needs. I still have obstacles to get over, especially with transitioning positions, but I’m really open with guiding my partners hands and using body language. I want to enjoy sex, but I also realize that reaching orgasm is not something that will always happen. That’s ok with me as long as I’m having fun.

I am always open to asking him what he likes and trying to work in a mutual way to have a good time. Sex is about me and him. It should be mutually pleasurable, and fun. I think it’s important to try to communicate with your partner regardless of whether it feels strange at first. Your partner wants you to feel good in the same way you want them to feel good. I also think that with regards to orgasms, if oral sex and manual stimulation work better (it usually does for me!), it’s not the end of the world to not have intercourse every single time we hang out.

Sometimes other forms of stimulation can be just as intimate and personal, so I never feel like I’m not reaching expectations by not having intercourse.

Watch Video:  Let’s Talk About Sex

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