When I first learned that all sex positions are derived from five basic ones, I was amazed – and weirdly relieved. I’ve always been totally intimidated by the Karma Sutra and those seemingly endless ways to have intercourse. And, not having a penis, it looked as if some of those positions could be quite painful. Also … back before I learned about the basic five, Nerve had a poster of “101 Positions” and was featuring them daily on their site. I had maybe done four out of the 101 at the time, but believed everyone else was having amazing sex and doing all 101 – in one night! But then to hear they’re all based on five …. phew!

That said I still use only a handful of the many variations. Of course, a lot of it has to do with my partner at the time, what he likes and what works for us together — but as Ducky stresses in the video, good positions are about comfort and the ability for consistent rhythmic thrusting. Add to that my desire to have access to my clitoris so that I can touch myself, and those 101 is reduced to, ah, um, maybe, for me, around 10.

In addition, like Ducky mentions, there are some positions that look sexy in the movies, but are actually difficult and not so comfortable. Standing for example. It can be hot if you/receiver are small and he/giver is big so that he can lift and hold you against the wall. However I’ve never been that small (or light!) and have no idea if it’s comfortable for both or either participant. And while standing can work if you are relatively the same height — it helps to wrap a leg around his pelvis if you are facing each other for deeper penetration. However, standing on one leg gets exhausting!

Same with sitting – which is a variation of girl/receiver on top. I’ve found to get the angle right I often have to use my thigh muscles to position my pelvis, and so it feels like I’m doing squats. Some women like that – I don’t.

Granted, sometimes you have to make do with whatever position is possible at the time – like in an airplane bathroom to join the mile high club or outside on a rocky surface. It’s in those situations where comfort is often abandoned for good old thrusting. And with the basic five to choose from – one will most likely get the job done!

Orgasms reached with help from a lover are not as easy as we’re made out to think.  As you heard in this video, the women that were able to climax early on didn’t do it via penetration.  Their lover either went down on them or used his fingers.  Even now, as we often talk about, many of us can’t come from intercourse alone and must self stimulate in order to have an orgasm during sex.

But, as I’m sure many will agree, one of the more interesting parts of this video comes at the end.  I’m so glad we found Stephanie, who is so earnest and honest, and admits to loving sex despite not being able/afraid to come.  In part two we explore it more.

Many women have sex for years without coming.  As discussed in this video, and in videos all over Cherry TV, it’s often because of the absence of masturbation that women are unable to orgasm.  In many cases it can be as basic as that – learn what works for you physically while alone, and bring it into the bedroom with a lover.  But, like everything in sex, that doesn’t work for everyone.

Climaxing with a lover is a very different experience than doing it alone.  There’s so much more going on – you’re thinking about your partner’s pleasure, you’re experiencing their touch and/or penetration, you may even be concerned with what you will look like coming.  With your mind on so many other things, the notion of also concentrating on your orgasm can be daunting!

If it’s a problem, my advice is just keep on keeping on and definitely enjoy the ride.  Sex isn’t about the destination/orgasm (and “sex” shouldn’t really be thought of as just intercourse anyway). You may find the ingredients/situation in which you can easily come with a partner - one in particular or all future partners – during intercourse, or you may have to figure out other ways to become satisfied during sex (my favorite, masturbate while your lover touch/kisses/fondles you).  Whatever works –- it’s all good!  No judgments, no comparisons!! Putting one person’s sexual experiences and reactions next to another is like, to use a tired cliche, comparing apples to oranges.  And it doesn’t help anyone!

If it hasn’t happened to you, you know a friend it has happened to – forgotten a tampon was in and inserted another, or began having sex while one was in.

In the Cherry TV video Sex and the Forgotten Tampon the women discuss times it happened to them. And while it was frightening at the time, in retrospect, the stories seem quite funny. Check it out at: Sex and the Forgotten Tampon

However, losing a tampon within your vagina can be scary and dangerous. While it will not travel up into your uterus, infection, if left long enough, can form. The most common is bacterial vaginosis, which can be treated, but in rare situations, toxic shock syndrome can develop. Signs that you may be developing an infection are: odor, discharge, pelvic pain, and fever.

If you need to retrieve a lost tampon:

1. Wash your hands.

2. Remove any tampons that still have the string hanging out.

3. Bear down like when having a bowel movement or pushing out a baby. This can push the tampon down.

4. Gently insert one finger inside. If your index finger doesn’t go deep enough, try your middle finger.

5. Reach in as far as possible. You have reached the end of your vagina when you feel your cervix. The cervix is like an upside down bowl at the end of the vagina. Bear down while gently pressing on your cervix.

6. Sweep the vagina by making circular and back and forth motions with your finger. Try to sweep the space between the cervix and the start of the vagina. This is where tampons tend to get stuck.

7. If your finger runs into a tampon, come out. Insert two fingers (ones next to each other) and trap the tampon between them. Bear down and try to trap the lost tampon between your two fingers to withdraw it.

If you can’t get it out, go to a doctor or clinic. Also, if you don’t feel anything but sense you may have left one in, or are just uncomfortable searching on your own, seek medical help. Don’t delay or be embarrassed. Situations like this are unfortunately a by-product of being a woman!