As a senior in high school, I had been crushing—hard—on Josh* for months.

But, as excited as I was to finally plant a big juicy one on my crush, he may have been a little too eager.

We were finally alone together, having snuck into my parents basement to watch a movie. I was tingling with anticipation of soft and sensual passionate kisses, you know, the way they do it in the movies.

He made his move and his tongue darted into my mouth like he was trying to stab me. I doubt he could have stuck it out any further or any more rigidly. It took up my whole entire mouth, I felt like I might choke on it, and it occasionally poked forward toward the back of throat.

While he continued to try to slay the dragon living in the back of my throat with his tongue-sword, I opened my eyes in shock—to see him staring back at me!

“Why are your eyes open?” I stammered, forcing his rock-solid tongue out of the way.

“To watch out for parents!” he replied sheepishly.

I retreated back toward my side of the couch.

“Can’t we try again?” he asked, reaching for me.

“Well…” I mumbled, not sure how to let him down gently. “I think you could use a little more practice first.”

It was uncomfortable and disappointing to say the least. Here I was, finally kissing this boy I’d fantasized about for months, completely let down. Plus, I was sure I had hurt his feelings.

A few years later, after leaving our small town for bigger and better things, we reunited, and, perhaps fueled by one beer too many, I gave him a second chance. His tender lips and soft tongue made me feel like I was floating. I pulled away, giving him a half-smile and quizzical stare. “I listened,” he said.

(*Name has been changed)

For videos on kissing, check out: How To Kiss and Be Kissed, Tongue Kissing, and First Kiss Tipoff.

When talking about a lover, we often discuss their kissing.  But of course … it’s usually the first sexual act between two people (first base, duh!) and it can be incredible … or not. There are so many methods and styles of kissing - it’s so subjective.  One can be considered a great kisser and a bad kisser, depending on the partner.

But I want to talk about the tongue.  Specifically, guys who stick a firm tongue into ours mouths and either just keep it there, or move it in and out like a lizard.  I personally have encountered a few of these instances, and so have my friends.  Yet, none of us enjoy it, and can’t even imagine it being a turn-on.   Yet guys do it, so they must like it - right?

When asked to talk about or describe my first kiss or even my favorite kiss, I come up with a big blank. I’ve kissed a variety of guys: Black, Italian, Jewish, Puerto Rican, and I’ve never had a soft focus General Hospital kiss. Even now with my partner, I’m not big on kissing. Each morning before my partner gets ready for work, we try to spend some time together cuddling, talking and in my partner’s case kissing. But I will not have any part of it. I twist and turn my head or roll over so that he’s spooning me. My determination is so great, my partner has coined his attempts at obtaining a kiss as “trying to wrestle a fish”.