Here at Cherry TV a lot of women ask advice on how to select and buy a vibrator online. For those who don’t have access to a female-friendly toy store, or do not want to deal with finding and going to one, buying a vibrator (or any sex toy) online is a great option. And while you don’t have the opportunity to test out its feel and intensity (on your hand. heh.) many online stores provide enough details so that you can choose intelligently.

Before I go into what to ask yourself, and look for, I want to assure everyone that online sex toy stores tend to be quite discreet. They know that their customers don’t want their family members or mailman to know what has arrived, so your purchase is usually packed in a plain brown box with a generic-sounding company’s return address. In addition, the credit card bill often indicates that same generic-sounding company’s charge – and not the URL it was purchased under.

Okay, so buying a vibrator. I’m going to give you some general guidelines, and then direct you to other resources. There are a few sites that do a great job at explaining the various questions to keep in mind, so it’s silly to do it again here.

Firstly, you want to identify what you want the vibrator for. Is it to use alone during masturbation or with a partner during sex? Do you desire clitoral stimulation only, g-spot stimulation, clitoral and vaginal simultaneous stimulation?

If this is your first vibrator, and you are getting it primarily to help you reach orgasm on your own – either because you have never had an orgasm, or are finding using your hand is too much work – I would suggest a basic clitoral vibrator. There are a range of clitoral vibes you can get, from small battery operated models to relatively large plug ins. Some have just one setting others have a few (slow, medium, fast, circular, pulsing). When choosing, keep in mind that it’s possible to get used to the feeling of a vibrator. When this happens, it’s helpful to readjust expectations regarding the clitoral stimulation you’ll receive when having sex with a partner. This feeling/dependency on your vibrator, however, can always be reversed if you stop using it for a little while.

Secondly, does it matter if your vibe makes noise and can travel? If you don’t have to worry about noise and storage, something with a little more heft can be considered. Also, plug in models tend to offer a large range of intensity, and can have accessories that go with them (who doesn’t love accessories?!?!). However, if you live with others in a place with thin walls and want to be able to slip your vibrator in and out of your bag/storage area easily, make sure the model you buy is billed as quiet and battery operated.

Third, what is your price range. Some vibes are inexpensive – in the $10 to $15 range – others are not and can cost more than $100. One would think that cheaper in price means cheaper in make, but that’s not always the case. Some of the most well regarded models are on the inexpensive side.

These are three main issues to keep in mind. Sure, if you want to use it in the tub/shower, there are vibes for that. If you want it worn by your partner to stimulate you during sex, there are vibes for that. The following links go into it all in detail.

All I will say in conclusion is if you are considering buying a vibrator – then YES, go for it!! It’s awesome having a tool that basically guarantees orgasm. Vibrators enable us to reach orgasm relatively quickly. They teach us what kind of stimulation we like, where (ie. above the clitoris, on the left side, etc.). And it guides us repeatedly through the series of sensations experienced leading up to and coming down from orgasm — and hence allow us to experiment with ways to intensify and sustain those sensations.

For more information check out the following links:

My Pleasure Shopping Guide
Babeland’s Guide To Vibrator Shopping
Wild In Secret Vibrator Overview
Ten Things To Know About Vibrators

There are many questions we often get here on Cherry TV - and while we have a number of videos that deal with those questions - I thought, for simplicity’s sake, I would answer them here too.

So, the first, and certainly most popular question we get from women is how to masturbate and reach orgasm. I will begin by saying, like everything in sex, it depends upon the person. There is no method that works for everyone. However, it’s a very rare woman who will not eventually climax via consistent stimulation of her clitoris.

To just make sure everyone is on the same page, the clitoris is located at the top of the vulva (vulva meaning exterior parts while the vagina is the interior). Many women think, not surprisingly, that the clitoris is inside because we see women climaxing in movies during intercourse, so it would make sense that it’s inside. But it’s actually tucked below the “mons” area of the vulva (smooth part where hair grows) - and it’s stimulated when pressure is placed on it. If you want to know more about the clitoris, here’s our video on it:

All About the Clitoris

One of the most popular ways woman masturbate is on their back, using anywhere from one to three fingers to rub their clitoris. Some use a circular motion, some use up and down, some roll their clitoris in between two fingers - it’s really what ever feels best to you.

If, when you start, you’re not yet moist, feel free to lick your fingers to get started. Also, fantasy definitely helps.

Reaching orgasm through manual masturbation (the kind described here, not using a vibrator), can take anywhere from one minute to an hour. The more you do it, the easier and quicker it becomes.

Once masturbating, you can sense orgasm is coming when the “tingling,” for lack of a better word, starts. Everything starts to feel a little bit more “alive.” When that happens - keep going! You may be motivated to go faster and/or harder. You may want to flex your kegel muscles or hold your breath. It may feel like you have to pee - that’s natural - and don’t worry, you won’t (you may end up discharging female ejaculate, but it’s not urine). Whatever your body tells you it wants at that time, do it.

What’s going on during this period is that you are gearing up for a release - the release being orgasm.

When the release hits, it can feel a number of different ways. Sometimes it’s short, like a blip. Sometimes it’s long and drawn out. Often you’ll feel waves of sensation course through your body.

Afterwords you’ll be a little spent. But unlike men, we can usually start over again within a few minutes (seconds?). At that time, you may want to try another method - on your stomach using a pillow or other surface to rub against.

That’s it - an overview. Please let us know your methods! If it works for you — it will work for thousands more!!

And for more information, check out these masturbation videos.

Learning To Masturbate
Masturbation Methods
Masturbation Techniques

You hear it all the time. In magazines, advice columns, and here on Cherry TV. People are always telling you “how to get what you want” in bed. And the big question that a lot of women have and so few ask is, “what exactly IS IT that I want?”

It seems like weird question.  Shouldn’t I know? NO! You shouldn’t. Like anything else, you have to learn. When I first became sexually active, this was a huge problem for me. I kept hearing that to make my sex life better I just had to ask for what I wanted. The problem was, I just didn’t get what it was I was supposed to be asking for. As far as I knew, I didn’t really have any special fantasies, nor did I identify myself with any fetishes. I just wanted to have sex, and I wanted it to feel good. And when I hooked up with a guy, it was either good or it wasn’t, and I had no idea why.

The thing is…like many other young women, I equated being sexually independent and sexually active with being sexually empowered, and that really isn’t the case. In order to truly be sexually empowered, you have to be sexually self-aware.

How do you become sexually self-aware?

• Masturbate…Intelligently. And Frequently.

Before I became sexually self-aware, it’s not that I didn’t masturbate. Actually, I masturbated all the time, and pretty much always in the same way. But I never really thought about what I was doing, I just kind of went for it. That, my friends, is NOT masturbating intelligently. The next time you go solo, here’s what you should do.

* Make sure you have a substantial block of time to devote to masturbating, and make sure you’re in the right mood. Do whatever you need to do…light candles, put on some music, hang black leather curtains on your windows…..whatever’s going to make you feel relaxed and sexy.

*Now, start masturbating the way you normally do, and PAY ATTENTION to the movements you’re making. Are you touching your breasts while you masturbate? How? Are you squeezing or caressing? What are you doing with your clit…are you rubbing or flicking? Are you going fast or slow? Ask yourself all the simple questions you would never THINK to ask yourself because it’s so natural to you. Think of it this way…your partner won’t just “naturally” know how to touch you!

*Purposefully change your movements, and see if it feels better or worse. Move your fingers up and down on your clitoris instead of in a circle…try squeezing it or lightly slapping it, and pay attention to how your body responds. Touch your inner thighs, touch your neck, and again…PAY ATTENTION. Maybe you’ll find that there’s some movement that works better for you than your old routine, and that’s a plus…but most of all, you’re doing this so you can get a handle on exactly what motions work to get you off.

*Masturbating is a great way to find out what physical motions your body responds to, but it’s also a good way to figure out what kind of tone you’re looking for in a sexual encounter. What are you thinking about when you masturbate? A lot of times, the answer is…nothing. So make a conscious effort to imagine different sexual scenarios when you’re lovin’ on yourself. Having trouble coming up with material? This brings me to technique number two.

• Watch Porn!

*It’s not exactly scientific, and sure…what you’re watching isn’t always realistic, but you’ll get the general idea. Watch as many different kinds of porn as you can…softcore, hardcore, fetish porn, whatever you can find. And what are you going to do? You’re going to PAY ATTENTION. You’ll find yourself involuntarily getting turned on by certain scenes and certain actions. Ask yourself why! Did you like that the sex was rough? Did you like the idea of being slowly caressed? Did you like the idea of being dominated? Of dominating? A lot of times, we don’t stop and ask ourselves these simple questions, and they are SO crucial to realizing sexual desires that you didn’t even know you had.

• But Don’t Limit Yourself to Porn!

*Don’t just think about what gets you off when you’re watching a porno, think about it any chance you get! Any time you get turned on…watching a movie, reading a book, people watching, make a mental note. Any time you’re just bored and need something to do, FANTASIZE. The key to being sexually self-aware is not just having sex, or thinking about having sex, it’s thinking about HOW you LIKE to have sex.

In the short run, these tricks will help steer you in the right direction when you’re trying to figure out what you want out of sex, and out of your partner. But in the long run, like anything else, it’s a process. The more you do it, the more you’ll learn. And now that you know what you want? Go on and get it, girl!

Videos on this topic: Why We Love Masturbation, Better Sex Through Self Loving, Sex and Body Image

So, aside from getting “Losing My Religion” stuck in my head, here’s what this weeks video “Losing His Erection” got me thinking about.

Generally, unless it’s an emotional problem or the whiskey has disabled more than his dick, my protocol for a lost erection is more or less the same as what I do in cases of early ejaculation. It’s a bummer, but it’s not going to keep me from my big moment. So warm up your hands or massage your jaw, because it’s downtown you go, mister.

Now, most of the time, this is an easy process to get going. Most guys aim to please, and often, they go at it without asking. If they need prompting, usually all it takes is for me to start masturbating, and they are all too eager to lend a helping hand. If all else fails, I just ask. Once again, unless the problem is emotional or emotionally damaging (or the dude has passed out already) this method is about 99.9% effective.

And for your entertainment, I present one of the .01% of trials that failed.

So, this guy I was seeing (many moons before all this wisdom kicked in) had some issues when it came to doin’ the nasty. He was great at it when all the conditions were right, but let’s just say…Mr Man had a lot of conditions. Not to mention, he had a bit of a selfish streak that he explained away with tales of deep insecurities, all of which magically evaporated when I was sucking his dick. Anyway.

One night, I decided to do something cute and sexy to get him in the mood, so I got gussied up and put on his favorite dress of mine- a shiny, minuscule, skintight little number that I bought for the express purpose of having dirty, dirty sex. The first time I put it on, Mr. Man was on top of me before I could bat an eyelash.

So I make my grand entrance and I purr:

“So, I was clearing out my closet, and I just couldn’t decide weather I should keep this dress. What do you think?”

Not exactly my best work, but I thought it would do the trick.

And yet. Instead of engaging in some sexy repartee or immediately throwing me down on the bed, Mr. Man announces that it’s hot and I should keep it, but immediately returns his gaze to the computer screen and starts typing away.

OUCH.

Secretly defeated but mostly still intact, I shimmy back into the bedroom and sit down on the bed to take off my shoes. Evidently struck with the feeling that this may not have been the response I was looking for, Mr. Man enters the bedroom and stares at me.

“Why did you put on that dress?”

He DEIGNS to ask.

Annoyed but still horny, I tell him. So, BEGRUDGINGY, Mr. Man finally starts to fool around with me….for about 30 seconds…before he goes in for the blowjob.

So I roll with it. Dejected and confounded as I am, I haven’t given up hope. And, because our prior sexual encounters made it necessary for him to do so, he reassures me that he will, indeed, be fucking me after this blowjob.

Lo and behold. Ten minutes of cocksucking and about 45 seconds of a tit-fuck later, my chest is covered and semen, and not so much as a gosh-darned finger inside me.

At this point, he begins apologizing and whining, apologizing and whining, and instead of going for my natural response, ANGER, I decide to play it cool. After all, by now? I would pretty much do anything in my power to have an orgasm, despite the colossal MESS that this night had been so far. Time for the old 1-2. I open the drawer in my bedside table and pull out my vibrator.

In the 5.2 seconds it took me to do this, Mr. Man ACTUALLY goes ahead…and TURNS HIS BACK TO GO TO SLEEP.

Blinded with rage and confusion and arousal and impatience and everything in between, I turn him over and say:

“HEY! Maybe you could give me a hand here?”

Can you guess what he said? Guess! Really. You don’t know? Well, here it is.

“Oh…well…I guess…if you really WANT me to.”

Aaaaaaand then my head exploded.

The end.

To view videos about this topics, check out:

Male Sexual Disorders

Losing His Erection

Drunk and Impotent

We’ve all seen them in TV shows and movies… the women who can orgasm as soon as they begin having intercourse. And did I mention multiple times? For three minutes straight, each? Hollywood certainly sets the bar high when it comes to women’s orgasmic capabilities, especially during intercourse. Yet, as Meg Ryan’s character so brilliantly illustrates in When Harry Met Sally, orgasms can be faker than a Hollywood bod. Back here in the real world, the majority of women (60-70%) need more than intercourse alone to hit the ‘Big O.’  The reason why is that it seldom provides the clitoral stimulation necessary for most women to be able to orgasm. This doesn’t mean that intercourse is pointless for women, though. By experimenting with techniques and positions, you may actually find it to be an excellent means for attaining pleasure and orgasm. So, go ahead and show Hollywood how a real woman gets the job done!

Tips for Increased Clitoral Stimulation during Intercourse:

(1) The Hands-On Approach: There is nothing wrong with taking matters into your own hands! Use your fingers (or a sex toy, such as a vibrating massager) to stimulate your clit while you’re having intercourse. (In doing so, you’ll find that some positions are more conducive than others. Try doggy-style and side-to-side for easy access. These will also allow your partner to stimulate your clit.)

(2) Coital Alignment Technique (CAT): Written down, this position may look too complicated to attempt. However, many people are giving CAT rave reviews for clitoral stimulation. Lie flat on your back with your partner laying parallel on top of you, resting his/her weight to either side of your body. You may want to wrap your legs around your partners’, resting your feet near the shins. (For a heterosexual couple with woman-on-bottom), your partner should then move about 2-4 inches higher up on your body than he normally would in missionary. Your bodies should rock back-and-forth against one another, rubbing the base of his penis gently against your clit. This can easily be followed by missionary position, if so desired. It can also be performed with either partner on top.

(3) Pillow Propping: This move is similar to CAT in that it will allow the base of the penis to rub up against the clit. (This might not look as thrilling on paper, but simplicity is so under-rated.) Step 1 of 1: lay a few fluffy pillows under your butt/hips during missionary. That’s it! Many women have reported that this arrangement provides greater clitoral stimulation as well as deeper penetration.

Though these techniques mainly revolve around modifications of missionary, there are countless other positions which may bring you greater pleasure during intercourse. It all depends on what personally gets you going. Ask yourself these questions: Do I prefer vaginal penetration? Anal penetration? Deep penetration? None? Do I like hard pressure? Soft pressure? A combination of both? Do fantasies help? How about meditation? Masturbation may be an effective way to figure out your likes and dislikes, in turn helping you discover what you need during intercourse. Keep in mind, though, that it’s not crucial to love intercourse or even have it, at all! There’s no need to cue Kumbaya… Happy and fulfilling sex lives do truly come in all shapes and forms.

To find out more about orgasm during intercourse, check out the following video:

Intercourse and the O

These days, vibrators are all the rage. In fact, studies have estimated that fifty-percent of Americans own a sex toy. From Tupperware-like gatherings to old-fashioned sex shops to candid online shopping, there are many different ways to get a hold of a vibrator (at least in most states.) And it’s no wonder they’re a hit. Masturbation is one of the most low-risk sexual activities in which a person can partake. Using a vibrator to masturbate is also nearly risk-free. Nevertheless, there are a few important things to keep in mind for a healthy body and planet.

Tips for Healthy Vibrator Use:

Protect Your Body: It’s critical to clean your vibrator after each use. If not, you run the risk of growing germs, which may lead to future bacterial infections. This is especially true if the sex toy is used around the vagina and then the anus, and vice-versa… In this instance, the toy should also be cleaned in between uses in these areas. If you’re sharing your vibrator with another person, it’s also possible to spread STDs back-and-forth. Generally speaking, you can clean toys in a mixture of 10 parts water and 1 part bleach- not the other way around! Refer to your product’s manual for more specific cleaning instructions. Additionally, if you’re inserting a vibrator (with chord) into the vagina, cover it with a condom first. That way, you can pull the condom out rather than yanking on the vibrator’s chord. If the chord is tugged on repeatedly, there’s a chance you may tear the wires, potentially giving yourself more of a shock than you probably bargained for. Though these risks are fairly minimal, it’s always smart to be on the safe side!

Protect Your Planet: To many, sex toys seem like a natural step to take in learning more about one’s body and sexuality. As a result, consumerism within the sex toy industry is often ignored. When you don’t stop to think about vibrators as products, you may not consider the ways that their production and use inevitably affect the environment. Luckily, there are numerous ways to ‘go green’ in the bedroom. Look for rechargeable toys to avoid wasting batteries. If your vibrator does run on batteries, take them out when you store your toy. By leaving them in, you’ll not only run out of juice faster, but also you’ll run the risk of a battery leak. Additionally, you may want to pick out toys made of medical-grade silicone rather than polyvinylchloride (PVC) and phthalates. Some environmentalist groups, such as the Greenpeace, have worried that phthalates (which make PVC plastic flexible) may have harmful effects on the body, particularly in situations involving a great deal of friction. Without human testing, though, this issue is still highly debatable.

In case you’re concerned, there are a few easy ways to tell if your toy is made of phthalates. Check: does it have an overwhelmingly plastic/chemical smell? Is it squishy and flexible? Is it relatively inexpensive? If so, your product may contain phthalates. Some stores have discontinued all products containing this material, just in case. Others do not intend to do so without sufficient evidence. Ask a store employee or search online to find out more information on specific product details.

As you’ve probably heard, a vibrator can be an extremely effective tool for learning more about your body as well as heating up a relationship. So, if you’re digging the vibes, be safe and have fun!

For more information, watch these episodes:
The Buzz on Vibrators
Vibrators 101

In today’s episode, the ladies dish out their experiences with the ‘elusive’ G-spot.  Stimulation to this area of the body has been reported to cause intense, often multi-orgasmic sensations.  Yet, for some women, the G-spot still seems like more of a mystery than a reality.  For those still looking, here’s a guide to help you ‘hit the spot’ on your own or with a partner…

How to Find Your G-Spot:

(1) Get in the mood. The G-spot is normally only about the size of a pea but, with sexual arousal, can swell to the size of a walnut.  This increase in size can obviously make your search much easier!

(2) Feel for texture. Some people describe the tissue around the G-spot as rubbery.  Others describe the surface as crinkly.  The location of the G-spot varies slightly between women, so don’t get frustrated if it takes a while to find.

(3) Once you feel the tissue, apply pressure.  The G-spot is located within the vaginal wall, not outside of it.  Therefore, you may need firm, steady pressure to get it stimulated.  (The ‘come hither’ motion described in this video can be a really helpful technique.  To do this, insert a finger or two into the vagina and then curve upwards towards your belly button.)

(4) If you find the sudden urge to pee, bravo, you’ve likely hit it! (Just so you know, stimulation of the G-spot actually leads some women to release a fluid, called ‘female ejaculation,’ which is not urine.  If you still find it embarrassing or uncomfortable, try putting some towels beneath yourself beforehand.)

Though manual stimulation can be the easiest way for a woman to find her G-spot, it certainly isn’t the only way to hit it.  The G-spot can also be stimulated during intercourse, though some positions may be much more useful than others.  For instance, ‘doggy-style’ has been reported to be helpful for achieving the right angle.  Another position to try is a standing position. The woman stands at a dresser or table with her elbows on the surface. The man enters from behind and together they experiment with various types of thrusting and positioning to figure out the best angle and depth of penetration to use so that his penis hits her G-spot. However, this position won’t work for everyone because the height differential is a certainly a factor.

Sex toys can also be a useful way to hit the G-spot, especially since some women find the hand-angle uncomfortable to maintain during masturbation.  Check out some of our past episodes to learn about toys specifically designed to hit the G-spot:

G-Spot Basics
G-Spot Orgasm

When embarking on your G-spot search, keep in mind that not every women gets pleasure from this type of stimulation.  Some women who find the G-spot report feeling nothing.  Others find the sensation uncomfortable.  If it’s not working for you, let it be.  This does not make you dysfunctional!  No matter what, try to enjoy the time you take getting to know your body better.  Who knows?  You might even find some other great surprises along the way!

Over the years, and we have Sex and the City to primarily thank, vibrators have become a lot more commonplace, and an accepted part of sex.  Women use them alone or with a partner.

In this video the panelists talk specifically about using a vibrator during masturbation. Two out of the five women only use a vibrator, while another two only use their hand. The fifth uses both her hand and a vibrator depending.

It seems as if the way one started masturbating is the method one turns to most.  If your first experience masturbating to orgasm was with a vibrator, then a vibrator seems to be your preferred method.  If you started with your hand, then, as Celeste says, you tend to be “a manual girl.”

I know on Cherry TV that if we encounter someone who never had an orgasm we recommend masturbating with a vibrator.  Using a vibe tends to be a guaranteed – and extremely fast - route to orgasm as opposed to manual stimulation which can take quite a long time.

It is helpful, if one becomes too dependent on the powerful stimulation offered by a vibrator, to put it away for a while and practice coming manually (because you never know where you’ll be and what you’ll need when your vibe isn’t available) … but it can be a lot of work.  But as far as work goes – it’s quite pleasurable!!

We have a bunch of other videos about vibrators. Check them out … Masturbation Methods and The Buzz on Vibrators

Watch Video: Masturbation Hand vs. Vibe

In today’s video the women talk about missionary position. They all enjoy it, and three out of the five women on this panel can climax in missionary without any manual stimulation.

I continue to find it so interesting how different everyone is!! On another panel we did (Orgasm Go To Positions) none of the women could climax in missionary without masturbating. Fascinating, huh?? I believe there are a few things at work here.

The first is simply anatomy. We are all different sizes and none of our pelvises are exactly the same shape. Also, our lovers are different sizes so while we may be able to come via missionary without self-stimulation with one partner, we may not be able to with another based upon the way his penis and/or pelvis hits our clitoris.

There’s also experience. Some women know the exact position they need to be in, regardless of and/or based upon the size of their partner, for the friction to be precise in order to come via missionary. Lucky ladies!!

In addition, I also think it depends upon the type of orgasm or feeling one is looking for while on the bottom. Some women it seems don’t expect to have a clitoral orgasm while in missionary, just a vaginal orgasm. However, some experts say there isn’t really any such thing as a vaginal orgasm, that it’s actually a “blended” orgasm that includes the clitoris and vagina — otherwise there is no release.

That said, during our discussions this last year, many women think of the feeling of intense contractions within her vagina during sex as a vaginal orgasm regardless of no clitoral–like release. (Orgasm Sensations) And while the terminology may need to be perfected, I believe the more orgasms we are able to have — the better!

So anatomy, experience and perception, just a few reasons I believe many women can’t come in missionary without helping herself along, while others can. Now let’s go practice!

Watch Video: Orgasm and Missionary

The videos in which the women talk about their masturbation techniques are some of my favorites!  It’s the essence of what we want to do on Cherry TV – let other women know that it’s good and natural to masturbate … that it will enhance their sex lives, and that there are endless ways to do it!

As you’ll see in this video, some women are happy with clitoral stimulation only. Others like to insert. Most of the women on this panel came to masturbating when they were older (post-adolescence). They had tried when they were younger, but didn’t get anything out of it. When they got older they incorporated a vibrator and found it really helped.

I love some of the tips the women offer.  I feel as if there is always something new to learn about masturbation (and sex!). Dual action, fun.  And in the sun – never went there, but will certainly try it out now!

It’s truly unfortunate that in 2009 female masturbation is still such a taboo/dirty subject.  I missed these episodes, but supposedly Oprah talked about it, and it the feedback she received was, shall we say, rather heated. Our friends at Radical Left talk all about it — Oprah on Masturbation.

Hopefully though with more of us talking about it, things will get better.  So many women don’t feel confident in the bedroom, and don’t enjoy sex as much as they can. That’s why we’re here!! Providing advice and helping women achieve sexual satisfaction is our mission in 2009 and beyond!

Watch Video: Learning To Masturbate