Okay, I’ll admit it, I fake it – a lot. I’ve actually faked it more than I have had an authentic orgasm during sex. And I’m not just talking intercourse here – it’s difficult for me to come when someone else is involved. On my own – done and done. But during sex — when he’s going down on me, using his hand, or during intercourse, I become self conscious, worry about taking too long, and can’t come. I fake it because I’m embarrassed.

Unfortunate, huh?? Women are supposed to come during sex with a man, right? At least that’s what mainstream media would have us believe. Therefore, those of us who can’t climax feel inadequate and unwomanly.

I know, I know … faking orgasm is not a good idea for many reasons – it sets a precedent with that particular partner and it validates the belief that women orgasm the same way men do (intense thrusting in and out). In defense, it’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I’m even comfortable having sex. For years I worried I wasn’t a good lover, and hence couldn’t relax in bed. Now (greatly because of Cherry TV!) I’m confident and easy-going, and open to just enjoying the process.

Yet, I fake orgasm. Often, I don’t really have to do anything except give a little squeak. Recently though, I’ve been telling the guy I’m with that it’s not easy for me, so not to expect much (granted, I’ve still faked it in some of these instances). I’ve also busted out my vibrator to help things along.

For now though, I’m not going beat myself up for it. Knowing I can fake it allows me to be sexual and not feel sexually deficient. I’m ready to trade that for honesty.

Here’s a Cherry TV video on it: Faking Orgasm

And here are some other good links:
Orgasm Help from iVillage
About.com’s Faking Orgasm Overview

Dear Cherry-

All my young life I was an orgasm champ– seriously- from masturbating at 6 with friends or alone, to riding seemingly any man (later age!) I hopped on and got off, so to speak. Then I had a very crap relationship in which sexual humiliation occurred, and ever since, (that was about 7 years ago!!!) I cannot orgasm the same at all. I have had another relationship since, in which I was able to build my orgasms back up, and I was so happy and am happy for that, but as far as one-night stands, it is horrible. I can be extremely turned on but when I decide to go for it, I am not really there, because I am worried that I won’t orgasm. I concentrate hard and it makes it worse. Of course I can orgasm by myself, though, in under a minute.

I feel my vagina is on strike. It bothers me. I want to be in charge here, bad choices and all.

Any thoughts??
Thanks,
anonymous!

Dear Anonymous,

Yes, it’s really hard and quite depressing know that you are unable to experience orgasm in situations that you used to be quite orgasmic in.

Basically, it appears as if something is going on psychologically and opposed to physically - and we are certainly not qualified to council you on emotional issues that may be playing a part. However, there are many great therapists out there who specialize in sex that you may want to talk to.

Keep in the mind though that the more you focus on your orgasm, the less likely it will happen. And it sounds as if you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself - it’s working against you. Sex does not have to be about orgasm. It’s the whole experience, and if it ends in orgasm - awesome.

And, if as you say, your old motivation is gone - then it would be quite helpful to try and figure out why you are sleeping with whomever you are sleeping with. As we age, we respond differently to the intimacy that develops during sex. I’ve known a number of women who decided to be celibate in order to figure out what they wanted sexually.

Lastly, since you are able to come on your own would you feel comfortable self-stimulating during sex so you know you’ll at least get off during the session? Masturbation is always a great way to come!

Anyway, good luck! And let us know when ensues!

~ Cherry TV

And, here’s some videos on the issue: Do I Have A Disorder?,  Check Your Head For Sex

There are many questions we often get here on Cherry TV - and while we have a number of videos that deal with those questions - I thought, for simplicity’s sake, I would answer them here too.

So, the first, and certainly most popular question we get from women is how to masturbate and reach orgasm. I will begin by saying, like everything in sex, it depends upon the person. There is no method that works for everyone. However, it’s a very rare woman who will not eventually climax via consistent stimulation of her clitoris.

To just make sure everyone is on the same page, the clitoris is located at the top of the vulva (vulva meaning exterior parts while the vagina is the interior). Many women think, not surprisingly, that the clitoris is inside because we see women climaxing in movies during intercourse, so it would make sense that it’s inside. But it’s actually tucked below the “mons” area of the vulva (smooth part where hair grows) - and it’s stimulated when pressure is placed on it. If you want to know more about the clitoris, here’s our video on it:

All About the Clitoris

One of the most popular ways woman masturbate is on their back, using anywhere from one to three fingers to rub their clitoris. Some use a circular motion, some use up and down, some roll their clitoris in between two fingers - it’s really what ever feels best to you.

If, when you start, you’re not yet moist, feel free to lick your fingers to get started. Also, fantasy definitely helps.

Reaching orgasm through manual masturbation (the kind described here, not using a vibrator), can take anywhere from one minute to an hour. The more you do it, the easier and quicker it becomes.

Once masturbating, you can sense orgasm is coming when the “tingling,” for lack of a better word, starts. Everything starts to feel a little bit more “alive.” When that happens - keep going! You may be motivated to go faster and/or harder. You may want to flex your kegel muscles or hold your breath. It may feel like you have to pee - that’s natural - and don’t worry, you won’t (you may end up discharging female ejaculate, but it’s not urine). Whatever your body tells you it wants at that time, do it.

What’s going on during this period is that you are gearing up for a release - the release being orgasm.

When the release hits, it can feel a number of different ways. Sometimes it’s short, like a blip. Sometimes it’s long and drawn out. Often you’ll feel waves of sensation course through your body.

Afterwords you’ll be a little spent. But unlike men, we can usually start over again within a few minutes (seconds?). At that time, you may want to try another method - on your stomach using a pillow or other surface to rub against.

That’s it - an overview. Please let us know your methods! If it works for you — it will work for thousands more!!

And for more information, check out these masturbation videos.

Learning To Masturbate
Masturbation Methods
Masturbation Techniques

As we know, sex is an awesome, yet sometimes overwhelming topic.  On Cherry TV, we try to address as many female-oriented intimacy issues as possible – but unfortunately we’ll never be able to provide answers and insight into everything.  However, if you have a specific question you are curious about, let us know!  We’ll attempt to address it here on the blog and possibly even cover it on a show.
Please send questions to “questions at cherrytv dot com” (trying to avoid the spam spiders by spelling it out!).  Keep in mind the focus of Cherry TV is women, and inquiries/topics from women will always take priority.

Little Cherry,

Lately I have been hearing a lot about the importance of penis girth. What’s with that? Excuse me if I’m wrong, but didn’t it used to be all about the length? Nowadays, most women despise thin erections- apparently because they don’t provide the stimulation and full feeling they seem to crave. This doesn’t make any sense to me, though.

What is a guy with a thinner than average penis to do???

-Thin’s Not In?

Dear Thin’s Not In?,

Let me give you the scoop on penis length/girth.  As you might know, most of the nerve endings are concentrated in the outer 1/3 of the vagina (closest to the opening.)  That’s why a lot of people say that the length of the penis doesn’t actually make much of a difference.  Though I have heard some women say they prefer girth to length, I have also heard the opposite. There’s a wide variety of preferences. I don’t know much about your situation, but I would definitely advise you to consider whether your troubles might merely be imagined on your end. After all, men (like women) are constantly bombarded with images of ideal body types that only a small proportion of the population actually have. There could certainly be some body dysmorphic disorder going on (which, to put it simply, means that you are getting anxious and preoccupied with your perceived physical flaw.) If you can’t seem to shake the negative feelings, please consider talking to a professional.

Also, if a partner has told you your girth is an issue, keep this in mind:  only about 4 in 10 women can orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. If your partner can’t achieve orgasm strictly from intercourse, this may have more to do with a lack of clitoral stimulation than your girth. (She might not be aware of this herself… Or, who knows, maybe she is. The following advice assumes you haven’t ditched her for being perhaps a bit too demanding and judgmental.) If she’s having troubles, you could always try putting more focus on foreplay.  (Check out our episode “The Importance of Foreplay.”) By taking your time getting ‘warmed up,’ she may have an easier time achieving orgasm, regardless of your size.

My main advice?  Work what you’ve got! Very few women know the specific girth of their partners, but I guarantee they notice their confidence.

You may also want to check out the following videos, in which the Cherry Dish ladies discuss their spectrum of different penis preferences:

Penis & Testicles
Penis Cut & Size

Best of luck,
Little Cherry

Have your own question? Please send questions to “questions at cherrytv dot com” (trying to avoid the spam spiders by spelling it out!).

Ah, Period Sex.

I have to say, I’m a pretty new member of the Period Sex Fanclub. As such, my reasons for resistance are still pretty fresh in the skull. I will now list those reasons, and tell you how and why they were so, SO wrong.

I thought having sex on my period was icky.

That’s right, I was that girl. I thought sex on my period was icky. And then… I came to my senses. Icky? ICKY? Ok, logic time. Sex is kind of icky, but in a super awesome, super hot way….and sure, periods are kind of icky….but I like sex but not my period? They’re both things that my body does, and does naturally. Why shouldn’t I combine them? Am I ASHAMED of my period? I let dudes do me in the butt (and, um….that’s where poop comes from) so why shouldn’t I let them do me on my period? Not because it’s icky, surely. As the man I lost my period-stained virginity to so eloquently put it…“It’s just more lube.” Amen to that.

If, however, you’re still a little freaked out by the mess, here are a few tricks to put your mind at ease.

* Put down a towel. For those who squirt, you know the drill. It’s a good idea to pull out some towels when you start your period that month  and have them handy, just so you don’t have to go rummaging in your linen closet when the mood strikes. You don’t have to sacrifice spontaneity for clean sheets.

*Do it in the shower! It’s a great way to ease yourself in.

*When you’re in the throes, stick to slow moves and variations on the missionary position. Remember your high school Physics class? Gravity and Inertia. If you’re freaked out by the mess, now might not be a good time to get on top and hump away.

Aside from thinking that sex on my period would be in icky mess, I thought to myself- “Ugh. I may be horny, but I also feel like I’m being beaten in the uterus with a sledgehammer. All I want to do is curl up in a little ball and watch reruns of the Golden Girls.” Sex just didn’t seem like it would be a good idea. Oh, how wrong I was.

*Having sex, and especially having an orgasm, can actually HELP with your cramps. It’s a lot better for you, and WAY more satisfying, then taking a Midol.

*Not to mention, having and orgasm will actually LESSEN the length of your period. The contractions of your PC muscles during orgasm help your uterus expel it’s goodies much faster than it would on its lonesome. Help a sister out.

*Many of us are actually our randiest during the red season. Not only that, we’re actually at our most SENSITIVE. Ever since I started having Period Sex, my orgasms have been unFREAKINGbeleivable. If that’s not an impetus to try it, I just don’t know what is.

For me, and for a lot of other young women, one of the main reasons that Period Sex is off-putting is that we’re afraid our partner will be grossed out by it. After all, for many of us, periods were a huge source of stress and embarrassment during our teenage years, and those scars don’t heal quickly. I remember one of my friends got her period for the first time during English class and ran out of the classroom. Everybody watched as the school nurse came in and cleaned up the mess she left on her chair. Eep. No wonder we want to hide our periods. But with the right person, sex on your period is neither gross nor embarrassing, but intimate and liberating. It took a real commitment for me to try it for the first time, and it was my BOYFRIEND who talked ME into it! More often than not, it’s not our partners who are grossed out by our periods, it’s us.

*Don’t be afraid to broach that subject. While some men are uncomfortable with Period Sex, most are VERY open to it. Nearly all of the men I’ve dated have been. However, if you or your partner are NOT comfortable with the idea of Period Sex, don’t push it. Like with all aspects of sex, to each his or her own.

*If it IS right for the both of you, take it slow, take it easy, and enjoy it. Sex during such an intimate and vulnerable time for your body can really bring you closer together.

*P.S. Don’t listen when someone tells you not to use protection during your period. Because sperm can live up in ya for for a few days, and because sometimes our cycles are so wonky that we can even OVULATE DURING our periods, it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE to get pregnant when you have period sex. So be safe! As an added bonus, using a diaphragm is another great way to keep the mess to a minimum.

Remember, ye who doubt the greatness of Period Sex. I was once among you, and now…now I’m having fabulous sex on my period. My shorter, lighter, less cramped, orgasm-enhancing period. It’s natural. It’s groovy, and it feels fantastic. It’s time to join the revolution, ladies.

Videos on this topic: Period Sex — Go With the Flow Part 1, Part 2, Period Sex Yay or Nay

The missionary position is like your favorite pair of jeans—you know that it’s always a good fit that you can depend on and know what to expect. They look great on their own going for a casual feel, or you can dress them up and accessorize in a variety of ways…

Classic and comfy

Sometimes, there is nothing better than good, simple missionary sex; the “t-shirt and jeans” of positions. Having a man on top can make a woman feel very comfortable and safe in her own skin. This is also a favorite for many because it allows for a very intimate experience; it is easy to kiss, gaze at each other and hold your bodies tightly together. Don’t forget to take advantage of the close proximity of your necks, behind the ears and collar bone area. These are some of the most erogenous zones for both men and women.

Try on some options

I have a hot date; know that I need to look good but not too over the top, so I will wear my favorite jeans and pair them with a few different options and see what I like. Missionary is a great place to start to test out your sexual chemistry, rhythm and style. It is easy to give your partner control at first and then once you get a feel for it, you can start to move with him. Depending on your leg placement, you can also gain control of the movement and make him conform to you. This is also a great position to reach around and pull him in closer for a closer and deeper body-on-body feeling.

Accessorize

Don’t forget to accessorize your favorite position to make it different and exciting. Pillows, handcuffs, legs in the air; you name it and it can be done in missionary. A great way to hit your G-spot is with a pillow underneath you to create a “ramp.” This allows your partner to penetrate deeper and because your body is tilted, it feels like he is going in and up, close to your G-spot and other sensitive areas that he may not normally be able to reach. Increase the sensation by putting your legs over his shoulders giving him full access to you without any boundaries for a new take on missionary that you both can benefit from. Missionary is also the ideal position to be dominated in. You can have him pin your hands down by your sides, above your head or even break out the handcuffs for fun. Sometimes it may even be a huge turn-on for him to grab your neck and playfully “choke” you as he moves inside you, for a more aggressive experience.

So when it comes to missionary or your favorite pair of jeans, it is important to be comfortable, switch it up at times and always accessorize when you are in the mood!

So, aside from getting “Losing My Religion” stuck in my head, here’s what this weeks video “Losing His Erection” got me thinking about.

Generally, unless it’s an emotional problem or the whiskey has disabled more than his dick, my protocol for a lost erection is more or less the same as what I do in cases of early ejaculation. It’s a bummer, but it’s not going to keep me from my big moment. So warm up your hands or massage your jaw, because it’s downtown you go, mister.

Now, most of the time, this is an easy process to get going. Most guys aim to please, and often, they go at it without asking. If they need prompting, usually all it takes is for me to start masturbating, and they are all too eager to lend a helping hand. If all else fails, I just ask. Once again, unless the problem is emotional or emotionally damaging (or the dude has passed out already) this method is about 99.9% effective.

And for your entertainment, I present one of the .01% of trials that failed.

So, this guy I was seeing (many moons before all this wisdom kicked in) had some issues when it came to doin’ the nasty. He was great at it when all the conditions were right, but let’s just say…Mr Man had a lot of conditions. Not to mention, he had a bit of a selfish streak that he explained away with tales of deep insecurities, all of which magically evaporated when I was sucking his dick. Anyway.

One night, I decided to do something cute and sexy to get him in the mood, so I got gussied up and put on his favorite dress of mine- a shiny, minuscule, skintight little number that I bought for the express purpose of having dirty, dirty sex. The first time I put it on, Mr. Man was on top of me before I could bat an eyelash.

So I make my grand entrance and I purr:

“So, I was clearing out my closet, and I just couldn’t decide weather I should keep this dress. What do you think?”

Not exactly my best work, but I thought it would do the trick.

And yet. Instead of engaging in some sexy repartee or immediately throwing me down on the bed, Mr. Man announces that it’s hot and I should keep it, but immediately returns his gaze to the computer screen and starts typing away.

OUCH.

Secretly defeated but mostly still intact, I shimmy back into the bedroom and sit down on the bed to take off my shoes. Evidently struck with the feeling that this may not have been the response I was looking for, Mr. Man enters the bedroom and stares at me.

“Why did you put on that dress?”

He DEIGNS to ask.

Annoyed but still horny, I tell him. So, BEGRUDGINGY, Mr. Man finally starts to fool around with me….for about 30 seconds…before he goes in for the blowjob.

So I roll with it. Dejected and confounded as I am, I haven’t given up hope. And, because our prior sexual encounters made it necessary for him to do so, he reassures me that he will, indeed, be fucking me after this blowjob.

Lo and behold. Ten minutes of cocksucking and about 45 seconds of a tit-fuck later, my chest is covered and semen, and not so much as a gosh-darned finger inside me.

At this point, he begins apologizing and whining, apologizing and whining, and instead of going for my natural response, ANGER, I decide to play it cool. After all, by now? I would pretty much do anything in my power to have an orgasm, despite the colossal MESS that this night had been so far. Time for the old 1-2. I open the drawer in my bedside table and pull out my vibrator.

In the 5.2 seconds it took me to do this, Mr. Man ACTUALLY goes ahead…and TURNS HIS BACK TO GO TO SLEEP.

Blinded with rage and confusion and arousal and impatience and everything in between, I turn him over and say:

“HEY! Maybe you could give me a hand here?”

Can you guess what he said? Guess! Really. You don’t know? Well, here it is.

“Oh…well…I guess…if you really WANT me to.”

Aaaaaaand then my head exploded.

The end.

To view videos about this topics, check out:

Male Sexual Disorders

Losing His Erection

Drunk and Impotent

I recently received a question on the Cherry TV site from a woman who has been faking orgasm while with her boyfriend, but reached the point that she wants to experience it for real. She also mentioned that she doesn’t know what an orgasm feels like — that’s she’s tried masturbating, but hasn’t had any luck. I would like to print my response here because it seems as if this situation is not so unusual.

Firstly, we would suggest getting a vibrator. There are a number of places you can order one online – and no one will know you’ve purchased one. (Babeland.com; Sextoy.com). Most women, we have found, tend to orgasm quite quickly by using a vibrator on or near their clitoris.

Now that you know what it feels like, you can either continue using the vibrator, or switch back to your hand during masturbation recognizing that it may take longer than you originally thought (at least at the beginning!) to reach the point of climax.

Second, and this is a hard one, but if you are able to, talk with your partner about it. If he knows, then together you can work on your orgasm … you can communicate during sex as to what feels good and what isn’t really doing it for you. And I’m sure he would want to know … not only because he cares for you, but because it will certainly make him a better lover long term.

One note, many women aren’t able to orgasm through intercourse, especially those that have only recently begun climaxing. It’s not easy because many positions don’t allow for direct stimulation on your clitoris.

However, climaxing during sex is wonderful, so there are a few methods you can use to obtain this feeling. One, if you are able to climax manually at this time during masturbation, then go ahead and stimulate yourself during sex. Doggie style is great for this, and so is missionary if your legs and his torso are positioned so that you can fit your hand in. A few men will be insulted because of this, but most think it’s really hot. Plus, if your partner knows that climaxing is a problem, he’ll welcome the self-stimulation!

Second, if you aren’t able yet to orgasm from manual stimulation, then you can consider using your vibrator during intercourse. There are also the vibrating cock rings, but they’re a little awkward, because they don’t tend to work when the man is simply thrusting.

Another approach is basic trial and error. By working together with your partner, you can determine what positions enable his pelvic bone to rub against your clitoris. Some popular ones include:

1) You on top, leaning forward, and moving back and forth instead of up and down.

2) Him on top, your legs are around him, and his body is positioned lower than traditionally so that his pelvis hits your clitoris.

3) Him on top, with your legs straight out in between his, so you are basically griping his penis and thrusting so that your clitoris is hitting the base.

Lastly, if you are still not able to have an orgasm during sex – (and don’t feel bad about it!! There’s **so** much to think about during sex, it’s not surprising it’s difficult to relax and climax) and you feel comfortable doing this, you can masturbate with your partner there. A nice way to do this is having him fondle and kiss you while you masturbate so you both are involved. Believe it or not, it’s actually quite fulfilling.

We also have a bunch of videos about this including:

How To Help Him Help You Reach Orgasm
Masturbation Evolution
Masturbation Techniques
Favorite Orgasm Positions
Best Positions For Climaxing

Women of the world, I’m begging you:  Never, EVER fake an orgasm again.

Here’s why.

Exhibit A: You.

How in the world to you expect your partner to know you’re unsatisfied if you fake an orgasm? Nuff said. You’re not doing yourself ANY favors by going all ‘When Harry Met Sally’ on his ass. It’s completely and totally counterproductive.  Sure it can be fun, sure it can give him a little boost in the self-esteem department, but all it’s going to do for you is ENSURE that you’re probably never going to have an ACTUAL orgasm with him. Ever. Which brings me to:

Exhibit B.  Men.

Listen ladies, there’s a fact about our bodies that we have to face. We’re kind of complicated. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But the more women out there going apeshit after a couple meager thrusts, the more likely you are to come across a man who thinks that’s all it takes to pleasure a woman. They really BELIEVE it. Trust me, I’ve seen these guys in action.

And you know what? It’s not their fault, it’s OURS.

When we fake orgasms, we’re telling our menfolk that it’s that easy! We’re filling their heads with silly ideas that they will go on believing until they are corrected. And trust me, they will not be corrected easily. How many of you out there have had a man look at you like you’re some kind of alien when you told him you didn’t come? The truth is, he’s not an asshole. His EX is. When you fake it with him and send him on his way, you’re just making it harder for the next gal that crosses his path. It’s a vicious cycle, ladies, and it’s time for it to stop. We shouldn’t have men running around demoralized when their lady needs a hand (or a vibe) to get off, and we DEFINITELY shouldn’t have them running around thinking that their lady isn’t normal when she doesn’t come after three minutes of intercourse.

Exhibit C: The Sisterhood.

It’s time for us to stop letting men believe that their cocks are all-powerful.

It’s time for us to stop letting other women be shamed for needing a little  help to have an orgasm.

It’s time for us to start getting real about getting there.

Now, let’s be fair. Every woman, every vagina, every clitoris and every orgasm is different- and every time two people have sex, they have to figure out each others bodies to get it right. HOWEVER. That’s only part of the reason you might be having trouble with your partner. The rest, in my humble opinion, is this mass conspiracy against women getting off. Who knows when it started, but it’s time for it to stop. Men need to get comfortable with the time it takes to please their lady. Women need to get comfortable with themselves.

Whenever a woman tells me that she’s faked it, there’s one little fact I always make sure to remind her of.

When you fake it, you’re telling yourself and your partner that you don’t have the right to a real orgasm. And that’s just crazy. Sure, you can have great sex without coming. Absolutely. But never should you ever believe that orgasm just isn’t in the cards for you. It is. For all of us.

And listen, I know you’re going to tell me that there are times when faking it works. One night stands, insecure boyfriends, whatever. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT. No excuses, ladies. Every fake orgasm makes it that much harder for the rest of us. And for you. It might be a hard habit to break, but you’ll thank yourself when you don’t have to sneak off to the bathroom with your vibrator in the middle of the night so you don’t wake up your husband. And we, the sisterhood, will thank you when your one-night stand comes our way tomorrow.

So for you, for your man, and for all the ladies in the world who think that they can’t come, they shouldn’t come, or that something’s wrong with them if they don’t: Get real, ladies. Don’t fake it.

Watch Video:Faking Orgasm

We’ve all seen them in TV shows and movies… the women who can orgasm as soon as they begin having intercourse. And did I mention multiple times? For three minutes straight, each? Hollywood certainly sets the bar high when it comes to women’s orgasmic capabilities, especially during intercourse. Yet, as Meg Ryan’s character so brilliantly illustrates in When Harry Met Sally, orgasms can be faker than a Hollywood bod. Back here in the real world, the majority of women (60-70%) need more than intercourse alone to hit the ‘Big O.’  The reason why is that it seldom provides the clitoral stimulation necessary for most women to be able to orgasm. This doesn’t mean that intercourse is pointless for women, though. By experimenting with techniques and positions, you may actually find it to be an excellent means for attaining pleasure and orgasm. So, go ahead and show Hollywood how a real woman gets the job done!

Tips for Increased Clitoral Stimulation during Intercourse:

(1) The Hands-On Approach: There is nothing wrong with taking matters into your own hands! Use your fingers (or a sex toy, such as a vibrating massager) to stimulate your clit while you’re having intercourse. (In doing so, you’ll find that some positions are more conducive than others. Try doggy-style and side-to-side for easy access. These will also allow your partner to stimulate your clit.)

(2) Coital Alignment Technique (CAT): Written down, this position may look too complicated to attempt. However, many people are giving CAT rave reviews for clitoral stimulation. Lie flat on your back with your partner laying parallel on top of you, resting his/her weight to either side of your body. You may want to wrap your legs around your partners’, resting your feet near the shins. (For a heterosexual couple with woman-on-bottom), your partner should then move about 2-4 inches higher up on your body than he normally would in missionary. Your bodies should rock back-and-forth against one another, rubbing the base of his penis gently against your clit. This can easily be followed by missionary position, if so desired. It can also be performed with either partner on top.

(3) Pillow Propping: This move is similar to CAT in that it will allow the base of the penis to rub up against the clit. (This might not look as thrilling on paper, but simplicity is so under-rated.) Step 1 of 1: lay a few fluffy pillows under your butt/hips during missionary. That’s it! Many women have reported that this arrangement provides greater clitoral stimulation as well as deeper penetration.

Though these techniques mainly revolve around modifications of missionary, there are countless other positions which may bring you greater pleasure during intercourse. It all depends on what personally gets you going. Ask yourself these questions: Do I prefer vaginal penetration? Anal penetration? Deep penetration? None? Do I like hard pressure? Soft pressure? A combination of both? Do fantasies help? How about meditation? Masturbation may be an effective way to figure out your likes and dislikes, in turn helping you discover what you need during intercourse. Keep in mind, though, that it’s not crucial to love intercourse or even have it, at all! There’s no need to cue Kumbaya… Happy and fulfilling sex lives do truly come in all shapes and forms.

To find out more about orgasm during intercourse, check out the following video:

Intercourse and the O