Sure, it may be the most popular number in Junior High bathroom stalls… But, for many, ‘69’ is a timeless favorite between the sheets. Named after the way in which the numbers 6 and 9 fit perfectly together, this position has many variations, which allow for partners to both give and receive oral sex simultaneously. There’s partner (a) on top, partner (b) on top, side-to-side/head-to-toe, standing, and so on and so forth. Many appreciate ‘69’ for the [literal] in-your-face intimacy it requires. Yet, for others, that vulnerability is precisely what makes it an unappealing position. If you’re keen on the idea (but are still feeling a little uneasy), here’s a few tips for mathematical bliss.

Tips for the ‘69’ Position:

(1) Shower first. In ’69,’ you might as well forget the concept of personal space. Your genitals will, in fact, be up close and personal. If you don’t feel clean, this position can be extremely unnerving. So, do whatever preparations are necessary for you to personally feel attractive in the ‘69’ position. [On a similar note, you’ll likely want your partner to do the same. If you find it awkward to bring up, suggest showering together beforehand. Not only can it make ‘69’ more pleasurable, but it can also act as foreplay.]

(2) Experiment with weight/pressure. Depending on the variation of ’69,’ you might be dealing with the body weight of your partner on top of you (or vice-versa). To some (including Alex on this episode), this is a very positive experience. Others find it uncomfortable or distracting. Experiment with different variations in order to find an arrangement that’s comfortable for both you and your partner.

(3) Use delayed starts. In most relationships, both partners do not tend to orgasm at exactly the same moment. Therefore, it might be useful for one person to start performing oral sex before the other begins. (Be forewarned that the visual aspect of ‘69’ has been known to send many off the deep end much more quickly than in other positions. Timing will be something to work on.)

(4) Give your partner a hand. As a person approaches orgasm in ’69,’ it’s often difficult to continue focusing on the giving aspect of oral sex. At this point, it may be useful to incorporate the hands instead. (And for those who clench their jaws together during orgasm, please take this as a friendly yet firm suggestion from me to you!)

Certainly, this position can prove to be a challenge.  Yet, for many, ‘69′ is no longer an odd number.  Tips on oral sex may also help to improve your experience…

For some general tips on oral sex, check out these past postings on our blog: Oral Sex Topics

Also, find out more tips on our episode “Oral Sex Tricks”

We talk about masturbation often on Cherry TV because it’s a great way to learn about our bodies and comfortably connect with the feelings that turn us on!

There are many benefits to masturbation…..

It is the safest sex we can have that gives us all the pleasure without any unwanted consequences- no std’s, no pregnancy, no problem!

It allows us to get to know our bodies better and know what pleases us. We are taught how to take charge of our orgasms ourselves rather than passively having them-or not having them.

Once we know our bodies then we can transfer that knowledge to our partners. This way if an orgasm doesn’t happen during intercourse you can incorporate masturbation into the bedroom.

We have a great introduction to masturbation by Jamye Waxman, one of our marvelous sex experts. You can watch it here: Intro To Masturbation

According to Jamye, men and women masturbate for the same reasons, to feel good and relax.

In the video, she gives several tips on how to masturbate and become more in tuned with the body’s sensations.

1) “Set the Mood”: Make sure your environment is calming and relaxing. Adjust the lighting, add candles, put on the nice satin sheets, do anything to make yourself feel comfortable.

2) “Relax and Free Your Mind” : Enjoy the feelings coming from your body, fantasize, get in touch with your body with self massage and enjoy the ride.

3) Technique “Rubbing the Public Mound” : Start by rubbing the public mound (the fatty, padded part of vagina) in either a circular or back and fourth motion. This usually indirectly stimulates the clitoris which is the main source of sexual pleasure in women. Then try to touch along the lips of the vagina and along the opening. This allows you to tease yourself and become more aroused.

4) Technique “ Stimulating the Clitoris” : When you are fully aroused, take the time to explore the clit. You want to lick your fingers or use lube when touching your clitoris so it’s nice and wet. Be gentle when exploring this area because the clit has between 6000-8000 nerve endings and it’s the only body part designed only for pleasure (we ladies are so lucky).

5) Explore: Now that you are intimately getting to know your body, this is the time to see what works and what does not. In the video, Jamye says that as you reach orgasm, clenching the pc muscles (the ones used to stop urine flow) can intensify these feelings. Also some women may have trouble reaching orgasm without the use of a toy such as a vibrator. This is ok, vibrators are excellent to use in order to reach orgasm. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to masturbate. As Jamye says in the video “Do what feels fantastic”.

We agree! And this is just one way to masturbate. Basically, any time you are stimulating yourself sexually, whether you are playing with your clitoris, fondling your vagina, inserting a clean sex toy or another apparatus (with a condom on it!! Never put anything with the potential to carry germs inside your body without cleaning or covering it!), or all of the above, it’s masturbation. If you continue long enough to climax, great! But if you get tired and stop, that’s fine too. It’s all about what feels good – there’s no rules when it comes to masturbation or sexual stimulation. Simply enjoy!

If you want to learn more, here are additional Cherry TV videos on masturbation:
Great Things About Masturbation!
Learning To Masturbate
Masturbation Techniques

When I first learned that all sex positions are derived from five basic ones, I was amazed – and weirdly relieved. I’ve always been totally intimidated by the Karma Sutra and those seemingly endless ways to have intercourse. And, not having a penis, it looked as if some of those positions could be quite painful. Also … back before I learned about the basic five, Nerve had a poster of “101 Positions” and was featuring them daily on their site. I had maybe done four out of the 101 at the time, but believed everyone else was having amazing sex and doing all 101 – in one night! But then to hear they’re all based on five …. phew!

That said I still use only a handful of the many variations. Of course, a lot of it has to do with my partner at the time, what he likes and what works for us together — but as Ducky stresses in the video, good positions are about comfort and the ability for consistent rhythmic thrusting. Add to that my desire to have access to my clitoris so that I can touch myself, and those 101 is reduced to, ah, um, maybe, for me, around 10.

In addition, like Ducky mentions, there are some positions that look sexy in the movies, but are actually difficult and not so comfortable. Standing for example. It can be hot if you/receiver are small and he/giver is big so that he can lift and hold you against the wall. However I’ve never been that small (or light!) and have no idea if it’s comfortable for both or either participant. And while standing can work if you are relatively the same height — it helps to wrap a leg around his pelvis if you are facing each other for deeper penetration. However, standing on one leg gets exhausting!

Same with sitting – which is a variation of girl/receiver on top. I’ve found to get the angle right I often have to use my thigh muscles to position my pelvis, and so it feels like I’m doing squats. Some women like that – I don’t.

Granted, sometimes you have to make do with whatever position is possible at the time – like in an airplane bathroom to join the mile high club or outside on a rocky surface. It’s in those situations where comfort is often abandoned for good old thrusting. And with the basic five to choose from – one will most likely get the job done!

This discussion comes soon after the announcement by Stephanie that she has yet to have an orgasm (Orgasms With A Lover, Part 1 & Orgasms With A Lover, Part 2). She also admits that she doesn’t masturbate, believing that if she’s going to masturbate, she might as well just invite her man over.

Here the ladies are trying to convenience her that there are benefits to masturbation – things you can learn about yourself alone that you can’t with a partner. However, I think what Rosemary says is a really good point … reaching orgasm alone is easier that with a partner because of the stimuli that goes on during sex.

I think that’s a concept we need to explore more. Yes, climaxing during masturbation is the route to climaxing with a partner; however, the two experiences are incredibly different – even if you come with a partner during self-stimulation.

One major difference is position. We often masturbate on our backs with our legs either bent or straight out. During sex, on top or doggie style tend to be more self-stimulation-friendly.

Another is headspace. During masturbation, all we are concerned with is our own enjoyment. Yet, during sex, we’re often conscious of our partner’s enjoyment and how it’s progressing.

A third is direct stimulation. During masturbation we’re usually still. However, sex involves a lot of movement.

Those are just three … I’m sure there’s more. But the bottom line is reaching orgasm during masturbation is a different experience than reaching orgasm with a partner. Sure, the two are relatable, but at their core, they are separate animals!

Over the years, and we have Sex and the City to primarily thank, vibrators have become a lot more commonplace, and an accepted part of sex.  Women use them alone or with a partner.

In this video the panelists talk specifically about using a vibrator during masturbation. Two out of the five women only use a vibrator, while another two only use their hand. The fifth uses both her hand and a vibrator depending.

It seems as if the way one started masturbating is the method one turns to most.  If your first experience masturbating to orgasm was with a vibrator, then a vibrator seems to be your preferred method.  If you started with your hand, then, as Celeste says, you tend to be “a manual girl.”

I know on Cherry TV that if we encounter someone who never had an orgasm we recommend masturbating with a vibrator.  Using a vibe tends to be a guaranteed – and extremely fast - route to orgasm as opposed to manual stimulation which can take quite a long time.

It is helpful, if one becomes too dependent on the powerful stimulation offered by a vibrator, to put it away for a while and practice coming manually (because you never know where you’ll be and what you’ll need when your vibe isn’t available) … but it can be a lot of work.  But as far as work goes – it’s quite pleasurable!!