Is it okay to have sex when I’m pregnant?

If you are having a healthy pregnancy without any complications then it is perfectly okay for you to have sex while you’re pregnant, from conception up to the day you give birth. It is safe for you and vaginal penetration will not hurt the fetus. There are certain medical conditions that may require you to abstain from sex while pregnant, but your OB or midwife will certainly let you know if you fall into this category. And, as with any concerns while you’re pregnant, ask your caregiver. And don’t be shy, believe me, they have heard it all.

Is pregnancy sex enjoyable?

Just like with regular sex it depends on the person. I have been pregnant twice and during both pregnancies I had some of the most intense and enjoyable orgasms of my life. But this is not the experience for everyone. Some people find the changes to the genital area during pregnancy can make sex feel uncomfortable or just too unusual. And often women find that their libido really slows down or their interest wanes when they are pregnant. The opposite can also be true. Some women find the changes to their body very arousing. And the hormone surges can also have the effect of revving up your sex drive. The important thing to remember is that all of these reactions are completely normal. And it’s not uncommon to swing from one extreme to the other over the course of your pregnancy. Communication with your partner is key so that you both know what to expect and how to support each other.

Um, logistics?

There are definitely some positions for vaginal intercourse that just don’t fly when you’re pregnant. During the first trimester your body size is closer to the same so you should still be able to use most positions including “missionary.” However, you might find that nausea, fatigue, breast tenderness or other symptoms just take you out of the game entirely. During the second trimester it may start to become too uncomfortable to be on your back so “missionary” will be out. It’s great to experiment and find the position that gives you the most pleasure since your body will be constantly changing. During the third trimester, especially towards the end, many positions become just impossible. Experiment with being on your side or from behind. Use pillows to help keep you comfortable and keep those lines of communication open.

And beyond vaginal intercourse?

If you are having a healthy pregnancy and you follow common sense rules about hygiene and safety pretty much anything goes. Manual stimulation is a given and can definitely help when the positions get tricky. Masturbation is of course safe and can be even more fun than usual. Many women find that they are able to reach orgasm quicker from clitoral stimulation because they are so much more engorged. Oral sex is perfectly safe. (One thing you might hear about is that your partner should not blow into your vagina during oral sex when you’re pregnant. This is true, it can cause a rare but dangerous complication, but who does this?) A caveat: If you or your partner suffers from oral herpes be sure to discuss this with your caregiver before having oral sex. You can use sex toys, lube, vibrators etc. just keep them clean and don’t do any rough thrusting as plastic can be harder than flesh. Cleanliness is even more imperative when you are pregnant since it is much easier to get a urinary tract infection. Anal sex is also okay but proceed with caution. Like your genitals, your anus is also more engorged during pregnancy so more prone to bleed. Hemorrhoids are also a common pregnancy and anal sex with hemorrhoids? Yikes. Be sure to talk to your practitioner first and get the green light. And again, don’t be shy to bring it up, it’s their job to give you the best information during your pregnancy.

What if my partner is reluctant to have sex now that I’m pregnant?

This is a very common issue that often stems from a fear that somehow the fetus will be harmed. Again, if you are having a normal pregnancy without complications sex is perfectly safe. If your partner is unsure take him or her with you to your next prenatal visit to discuss any issues with your OB or midwife. Sometimes the issue can be the anxiety of becoming a parent or the changes to your relationship. And sometimes your partner might be raring to go but you are the one with anxieties about your body or about your new identity. Open, honest, and frequent communication with your partner about the gamut of feelings you will both be experiencing is very important to keeping your sex life fulfilling during pregnancy. Talk about what is going on and be sure to talk about sex specifically. Getting on the same page with your partner will help set realistic expectations.

Are there any pros to having sex while pregnant?

Aside from all the usual pros (pleasure, intimacy, orgasm, etc) there are some specific to pregnancy. One, you don’t have to worry that you will or will not get pregnant when you are having sex. Logical yes, but it’s surprisingly liberating. It can make sex more enjoyable when these anxieties absent, especially if you’ve had difficulty becoming pregnant. Sex during pregnancy can also help you cope with your changing body. If you have body issues before pregnancy you can be sure you’ll have them during. Anything you can do to help yourself feel positive about your body will help you deal with these issues when they crop up. Lastly, at the very end, when your body is ready, sex can even help bring on labor. At the very least it gives you something to do when you’re sitting around waiting. Good luck with your pregnancy and have fun!