Since spring is in the air — and spring fever (the desire for more sex!) often accompanies it — I thought it’s a good time to bring up the issue of boundaries. Sexual boundaries are often difficult to navigate - especially when they are contrary to what our friends do, what our family wants and/or what our social scene dictates.

And when our sexual boundaries are set, men will sometimes try to push past them. It can be intimidating and hard to hold on. During sex or a make-out session, when we’re at the point where we don’t want to go farther, the guy can be insistent that we keep going. And he’ll give a lot of seemingly reasonable reasons like “But I like you so much and just want to get closer,” “If we stop now I’ll get ‘blue balls’,” and “Don’t worry, we won’t go farther than X.”

Besides pressure from our partner, sometimes WE want to go beyond our boundaries. We’re aroused, having fun, and don’t want to stop (or at least stop at the boundary point)! Add alcohol into the mix, and it’s even harder not to throw our reserves out the window!

For many of us though, setting boundaries before a date is important. It enables us to feel comfortable in the moment — yet establishes a specific point when arousal is not part of the equation — in which we know we’ll feel uncomfortable … or regret afterwords. It’s difficult, but worth it in the end.

One concern we may have when exerting boundaries is that we’ll be called a tease. In theory, we have the right to say no at any time — and it’s totally a misogynistic concept — but unfortunately, some women develop a reputation as a “tease.”

My solution (and I’ve asked a number of guys about this and they all agree it is a good one), is if during the make-out session I don’t put my hand on his penis (over or under his pants), then I don’t feel responsible for helping him get off. Granted, I can rub other parts of my body over that area, but if I don’t put my hand there, I don’t worry about “teasing.” Some guys will grab your hand and try to put it there, but it’s important to say NO in that situation, however hard it may be. It’s rude and inappropriate, and he has to know you will not be manipulated like that.

What I’ll also do to help establish my boundaries is mention them on the way home or to his place to make-out. That way he knows ahead of time what to expect, and if he wants more, I just remind him that I had already told him the limit.

Still - it’s a rough road to travel, establishing and keeping sexual boundaries isn’t easy. In my experience though, it gets easier … and I no longer wake up with that dreaded question “Oh shite, what did I do?”

Check out this video where the women discuss boundaries: Saying Yes and No to Sex

Every couple gets into a sexual rut now and then. It could be short lived – after a few sessions the sex feels boring and the couple shakes it up. Or, it could last a long, long time. Ever hear of the seven-year itch? Well, it’s more like a three-year itch for relationships and even less for sex. And considering how many headlines your see on women’s publications declaring suggestions for “Spicing Up Your Sex Life,” it would seem many people are in need of a boost.

Good sex takes work. It’s easy to get comfortable with a specific sexual routine because it’s relatively effortless. And humans are built to get used to things. In order to change the routine, one must usually make a conscious effort and be willing to experiment.

There are a number of ways out of a sexual rut. The key is that both parties are comfortable with the ideas and interested in trying them out. They include: new positions; introducing sex toys, using creams, oils, foods; new locations; and role play (involving props or not). There are also sex games available online and stores – and a huge realm of activities that fall under the category of “kink.”

Most important though, is to talk with your partner and acknowledge the situation (we know, communication blah blah blah, but it is SO important). And yeah, it sucks if one is bored while the other is content – but hopefully the contented party will want to help the other get excited and involved again since it will result in better sex (and, of course, because they care about their feelings).

A great way to find activities/elements to kick-start out of that rut is to tell each other the things you really like. Talk about the activities you’ve thought about doing in bed, the things you’ve done but want more of, and what you fantasize about. In most cases, a number of ideas will overlap – and hence worth trying or doing again.

So, if you find yourself in a rut, think of it as a good thing! It is the natural way to keep that libido bubbling!

And check out this link: Sex Ruts by Chantelle Austin it is a great six part series on ruts!

For videos on this issue:

Help With Boring Sex

Tips and Tricks for Better Sex

When asked to talk about or describe my first kiss or even my favorite kiss, I come up with a big blank. I’ve kissed a variety of guys: Black, Italian, Jewish, Puerto Rican, and I’ve never had a soft focus General Hospital kiss. Even now with my partner, I’m not big on kissing. Each morning before my partner gets ready for work, we try to spend some time together cuddling, talking and in my partner’s case kissing. But I will not have any part of it. I twist and turn my head or roll over so that he’s spooning me. My determination is so great, my partner has coined his attempts at obtaining a kiss as “trying to wrestle a fish”.

Ah, Period Sex.

I have to say, I’m a pretty new member of the Period Sex Fanclub. As such, my reasons for resistance are still pretty fresh in the skull. I will now list those reasons, and tell you how and why they were so, SO wrong.

I thought having sex on my period was icky.

That’s right, I was that girl. I thought sex on my period was icky. And then… I came to my senses. Icky? ICKY? Ok, logic time. Sex is kind of icky, but in a super awesome, super hot way….and sure, periods are kind of icky….but I like sex but not my period? They’re both things that my body does, and does naturally. Why shouldn’t I combine them? Am I ASHAMED of my period? I let dudes do me in the butt (and, um….that’s where poop comes from) so why shouldn’t I let them do me on my period? Not because it’s icky, surely. As the man I lost my period-stained virginity to so eloquently put it…“It’s just more lube.” Amen to that.

If, however, you’re still a little freaked out by the mess, here are a few tricks to put your mind at ease.

* Put down a towel. For those who squirt, you know the drill. It’s a good idea to pull out some towels when you start your period that month  and have them handy, just so you don’t have to go rummaging in your linen closet when the mood strikes. You don’t have to sacrifice spontaneity for clean sheets.

*Do it in the shower! It’s a great way to ease yourself in.

*When you’re in the throes, stick to slow moves and variations on the missionary position. Remember your high school Physics class? Gravity and Inertia. If you’re freaked out by the mess, now might not be a good time to get on top and hump away.

Aside from thinking that sex on my period would be in icky mess, I thought to myself- “Ugh. I may be horny, but I also feel like I’m being beaten in the uterus with a sledgehammer. All I want to do is curl up in a little ball and watch reruns of the Golden Girls.” Sex just didn’t seem like it would be a good idea. Oh, how wrong I was.

*Having sex, and especially having an orgasm, can actually HELP with your cramps. It’s a lot better for you, and WAY more satisfying, then taking a Midol.

*Not to mention, having and orgasm will actually LESSEN the length of your period. The contractions of your PC muscles during orgasm help your uterus expel it’s goodies much faster than it would on its lonesome. Help a sister out.

*Many of us are actually our randiest during the red season. Not only that, we’re actually at our most SENSITIVE. Ever since I started having Period Sex, my orgasms have been unFREAKINGbeleivable. If that’s not an impetus to try it, I just don’t know what is.

For me, and for a lot of other young women, one of the main reasons that Period Sex is off-putting is that we’re afraid our partner will be grossed out by it. After all, for many of us, periods were a huge source of stress and embarrassment during our teenage years, and those scars don’t heal quickly. I remember one of my friends got her period for the first time during English class and ran out of the classroom. Everybody watched as the school nurse came in and cleaned up the mess she left on her chair. Eep. No wonder we want to hide our periods. But with the right person, sex on your period is neither gross nor embarrassing, but intimate and liberating. It took a real commitment for me to try it for the first time, and it was my BOYFRIEND who talked ME into it! More often than not, it’s not our partners who are grossed out by our periods, it’s us.

*Don’t be afraid to broach that subject. While some men are uncomfortable with Period Sex, most are VERY open to it. Nearly all of the men I’ve dated have been. However, if you or your partner are NOT comfortable with the idea of Period Sex, don’t push it. Like with all aspects of sex, to each his or her own.

*If it IS right for the both of you, take it slow, take it easy, and enjoy it. Sex during such an intimate and vulnerable time for your body can really bring you closer together.

*P.S. Don’t listen when someone tells you not to use protection during your period. Because sperm can live up in ya for for a few days, and because sometimes our cycles are so wonky that we can even OVULATE DURING our periods, it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE to get pregnant when you have period sex. So be safe! As an added bonus, using a diaphragm is another great way to keep the mess to a minimum.

Remember, ye who doubt the greatness of Period Sex. I was once among you, and now…now I’m having fabulous sex on my period. My shorter, lighter, less cramped, orgasm-enhancing period. It’s natural. It’s groovy, and it feels fantastic. It’s time to join the revolution, ladies.

Videos on this topic: Period Sex — Go With the Flow Part 1, Part 2, Period Sex Yay or Nay

So, aside from getting “Losing My Religion” stuck in my head, here’s what this weeks video “Losing His Erection” got me thinking about.

Generally, unless it’s an emotional problem or the whiskey has disabled more than his dick, my protocol for a lost erection is more or less the same as what I do in cases of early ejaculation. It’s a bummer, but it’s not going to keep me from my big moment. So warm up your hands or massage your jaw, because it’s downtown you go, mister.

Now, most of the time, this is an easy process to get going. Most guys aim to please, and often, they go at it without asking. If they need prompting, usually all it takes is for me to start masturbating, and they are all too eager to lend a helping hand. If all else fails, I just ask. Once again, unless the problem is emotional or emotionally damaging (or the dude has passed out already) this method is about 99.9% effective.

And for your entertainment, I present one of the .01% of trials that failed.

So, this guy I was seeing (many moons before all this wisdom kicked in) had some issues when it came to doin’ the nasty. He was great at it when all the conditions were right, but let’s just say…Mr Man had a lot of conditions. Not to mention, he had a bit of a selfish streak that he explained away with tales of deep insecurities, all of which magically evaporated when I was sucking his dick. Anyway.

One night, I decided to do something cute and sexy to get him in the mood, so I got gussied up and put on his favorite dress of mine- a shiny, minuscule, skintight little number that I bought for the express purpose of having dirty, dirty sex. The first time I put it on, Mr. Man was on top of me before I could bat an eyelash.

So I make my grand entrance and I purr:

“So, I was clearing out my closet, and I just couldn’t decide weather I should keep this dress. What do you think?”

Not exactly my best work, but I thought it would do the trick.

And yet. Instead of engaging in some sexy repartee or immediately throwing me down on the bed, Mr. Man announces that it’s hot and I should keep it, but immediately returns his gaze to the computer screen and starts typing away.

OUCH.

Secretly defeated but mostly still intact, I shimmy back into the bedroom and sit down on the bed to take off my shoes. Evidently struck with the feeling that this may not have been the response I was looking for, Mr. Man enters the bedroom and stares at me.

“Why did you put on that dress?”

He DEIGNS to ask.

Annoyed but still horny, I tell him. So, BEGRUDGINGY, Mr. Man finally starts to fool around with me….for about 30 seconds…before he goes in for the blowjob.

So I roll with it. Dejected and confounded as I am, I haven’t given up hope. And, because our prior sexual encounters made it necessary for him to do so, he reassures me that he will, indeed, be fucking me after this blowjob.

Lo and behold. Ten minutes of cocksucking and about 45 seconds of a tit-fuck later, my chest is covered and semen, and not so much as a gosh-darned finger inside me.

At this point, he begins apologizing and whining, apologizing and whining, and instead of going for my natural response, ANGER, I decide to play it cool. After all, by now? I would pretty much do anything in my power to have an orgasm, despite the colossal MESS that this night had been so far. Time for the old 1-2. I open the drawer in my bedside table and pull out my vibrator.

In the 5.2 seconds it took me to do this, Mr. Man ACTUALLY goes ahead…and TURNS HIS BACK TO GO TO SLEEP.

Blinded with rage and confusion and arousal and impatience and everything in between, I turn him over and say:

“HEY! Maybe you could give me a hand here?”

Can you guess what he said? Guess! Really. You don’t know? Well, here it is.

“Oh…well…I guess…if you really WANT me to.”

Aaaaaaand then my head exploded.

The end.

To view videos about this topics, check out:

Male Sexual Disorders

Losing His Erection

Drunk and Impotent

There are times when the mood strikes to give great oral sex. There can be something very empowering in knowing that you have the ability to give your partner complete satisfaction by performing phenomenal fellatio (or cunnilingus, though for the sake of this article, we’ll be focusing on fellatio).

It can be as intimate as intercourse, or even more so. It isn’t always just about a “blow job.” Sometimes it is about connecting with your partner in different ways with a variety of techniques and exploring their bodies and learning more about what they enjoy. Giving your partner a blissful oral experience can merit a sense of pride, closeness and self-satisfaction.

Of course it’s important to demonstrate good basic blow job techniques, for some of these tips you can refer to some other CherryTV articles:

- Blow Job Hand Use

- Deep Throat

- BJ Hand Use (Part 3)

- Tending to the Testicles

Here are a few more techniques that I recommend to bring oral sex to a more intimate and intense level:

Eye Contact

Eye contact is equally important during a first impression and a job interview as it is during oral sex. Some men love this, some don’t care…you don’t really know until you try it. It is generally most effective when his entire penis is in your mouth or you are licking the length of it with some complimentary hand motions. Your gaze shouldn’t necessarily be for a lengthy period of time but just locking eyes between motions or even speeds of your hand and mouth can be really sexy and intimate.

The Full Body Blow Job

Of course it is important to focus on all parts of the package. The best to “other” spots to focus on (in order of importance): behind the knees, top of the feet and behind the ears and neck. The best time to go for any of these extra is when the penis is fully submersed in your mouth, so take a mouthful and run your hands down his legs and to the back of his knees and just trace the line there, go down to his feet, on top of his calves, stop back up at the package for a mini hand job and then repeat. If you want to take a break in between and go to the ear/neck/collar bone area, that is totally allowed and encouraged as long as you aren’t missing from the package for too long.

These erogenous zones will be sure to enhance the entire experience and help you to really connect with your partner and put him over the edge (in a great way of course!)

Check out all our videos on the topic!!! Cherry TV Oral Sex Videos

Women of the world, I’m begging you:  Never, EVER fake an orgasm again.

Here’s why.

Exhibit A: You.

How in the world to you expect your partner to know you’re unsatisfied if you fake an orgasm? Nuff said. You’re not doing yourself ANY favors by going all ‘When Harry Met Sally’ on his ass. It’s completely and totally counterproductive.  Sure it can be fun, sure it can give him a little boost in the self-esteem department, but all it’s going to do for you is ENSURE that you’re probably never going to have an ACTUAL orgasm with him. Ever. Which brings me to:

Exhibit B.  Men.

Listen ladies, there’s a fact about our bodies that we have to face. We’re kind of complicated. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But the more women out there going apeshit after a couple meager thrusts, the more likely you are to come across a man who thinks that’s all it takes to pleasure a woman. They really BELIEVE it. Trust me, I’ve seen these guys in action.

And you know what? It’s not their fault, it’s OURS.

When we fake orgasms, we’re telling our menfolk that it’s that easy! We’re filling their heads with silly ideas that they will go on believing until they are corrected. And trust me, they will not be corrected easily. How many of you out there have had a man look at you like you’re some kind of alien when you told him you didn’t come? The truth is, he’s not an asshole. His EX is. When you fake it with him and send him on his way, you’re just making it harder for the next gal that crosses his path. It’s a vicious cycle, ladies, and it’s time for it to stop. We shouldn’t have men running around demoralized when their lady needs a hand (or a vibe) to get off, and we DEFINITELY shouldn’t have them running around thinking that their lady isn’t normal when she doesn’t come after three minutes of intercourse.

Exhibit C: The Sisterhood.

It’s time for us to stop letting men believe that their cocks are all-powerful.

It’s time for us to stop letting other women be shamed for needing a little  help to have an orgasm.

It’s time for us to start getting real about getting there.

Now, let’s be fair. Every woman, every vagina, every clitoris and every orgasm is different- and every time two people have sex, they have to figure out each others bodies to get it right. HOWEVER. That’s only part of the reason you might be having trouble with your partner. The rest, in my humble opinion, is this mass conspiracy against women getting off. Who knows when it started, but it’s time for it to stop. Men need to get comfortable with the time it takes to please their lady. Women need to get comfortable with themselves.

Whenever a woman tells me that she’s faked it, there’s one little fact I always make sure to remind her of.

When you fake it, you’re telling yourself and your partner that you don’t have the right to a real orgasm. And that’s just crazy. Sure, you can have great sex without coming. Absolutely. But never should you ever believe that orgasm just isn’t in the cards for you. It is. For all of us.

And listen, I know you’re going to tell me that there are times when faking it works. One night stands, insecure boyfriends, whatever. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT. No excuses, ladies. Every fake orgasm makes it that much harder for the rest of us. And for you. It might be a hard habit to break, but you’ll thank yourself when you don’t have to sneak off to the bathroom with your vibrator in the middle of the night so you don’t wake up your husband. And we, the sisterhood, will thank you when your one-night stand comes our way tomorrow.

So for you, for your man, and for all the ladies in the world who think that they can’t come, they shouldn’t come, or that something’s wrong with them if they don’t: Get real, ladies. Don’t fake it.

Watch Video:Faking Orgasm

Watch Video: http:Relationship vs. Casual Sex

I think that Samantha from SATC said it best in her conversation with Charlotte when she preached, “Honey, you have to test drive the car before you buy it.” This relates to dating, sex and relationships on so many different levels:

Sometimes, a car catches your eye. It may be for just a split second and then you see it up close and you say to yourself, “what was I thinking?!” Other times, you may have some interest and then you read consumer reports, find out what people have to say, or ask your friends opinions before you make the decision whether it’s even worth to take the time to test drive.

Sometimes when you think that the car may be a good fit, you just have to get in the seat, rev it up and enjoy the ride. Hopefully it’s a good ride, and you aren’t disappointed. Sometimes that’s all you need to get it out of your system, or sometimes you go back for more with a higher level of interest. Regardless of whether you want to invest or not, you can hope that you enjoy yourself during the time you are engaged with the vehicle. Usually, you’ll need to test drive on multiple occasions, during different kinds of settings, scenarios and terrain, just to see how the car handles. The before making any serious moves you need to ask yourself questions…

- Do I feel safe?

- Can I trust this car?

- Does this car look good? Is it in good shape?

- Do I look good in this car?

- How is this car going to affect my life/lifestyle?

- Am I going to have a good time and enjoy myself in this car?

- Does it have a lot of miles?

- Will it need a lot of work?

- I wonder what the previous owner was like and how they treated it (if applicable)

Sometimes you won’t know the answers to these questions until you have the opportunity to test drive other cars to see what’s out there. You may realize there is a much better fit for you, or that your first choice was right from the start. Whatever the case may be, there is a lot of trial, experimenting, and thought that goes into buying a car. Hopefully it is an enjoyable experience trying to find that right one…whether it is just a lease or you end up buying.

A lot of people plan to just lease a car because they think that it’s the most comfortable option for them in their current lifestyles. Perhaps that’s true. Or sometimes, they will lease in the beginning and when that period ends, they will take the plunge and buy it right off the lease if they still enjoy it and everything seems to be going well.

Some other people prefer to explore all options and then make an educated decision to commit and buy. While others (who I find to be in the small minority) can just buy it right off the lot without even a test drive! To each their own.

Anyway you look at it, I think that relationships are like car loans, after 5 years you should either own it or trade it in for a new one. Personally, I’ve been leasing a great model with a strong intent to buy…

Everyone has different taste in hairstyles, whether it’s on your head, or between your legs. Long, short, curly, tamed, bleached, colored, trendy or bare there are many different options. There are a variety of factors that can determine a style such as: maintenance, time, generational norms, and personal and partner preferences. Some men and women in there late 30s+ may gravitate towards a more natural appearance, because they were exposed to a lot of “full bush” in porn and magazines growing up. While on the other hand, an active member of the millennial generation like me, may tend to go almost totally bare down there.

However, getting silky smooth results can be a challenge, and maintenance can definitely be a pain (literally) as well as a strain on your pocket book. Brazilian (everything off) and Parisian (landing strip only) waxes can give amazingly smooth results, but they can also be excruciatingly painful and expensive ranging anywhere from $55-$125. Touch ups at the salon can cost almost as much and I have honestly been charged $25 more just to flip over!! But it isn’t just the pain and cost of going bare that can be cons, it’s also the patience. Before getting a wax, it is recommended that you grow out for at least 2 weeks, and if you’re used to a barely there lifestyle, that can seem like an eternity! After dabbling in quite a few waxes, I took matters into my own hands and figured out a few techniques how to get Brazilian results on a Bic budget.

What you will need:
- A coarse sugar scrub
- A loofah (optional)
- Shaving cream
- A razor (at least a triple blade for best results)
- Baby oil

Step One
It is imperative to exfoliate the area you are shaving thoroughly. This is what will alleviate the discomfort and appearance of ingrown hairs and/or razor burn. Using either a loofah or just your hands if you prefer, generously work the sugar scrub in a circular motion to remove all dead or dry skin and make your area fresh. The granules in the scrub can be a little abrasive, but it beats the tearing off of a wax strip any day! Think of it as sanding something before you paint it, if you put a fresh coat of paint over an old or dry surface, your results certainly won’t be ideal.

Step Two
Apply your preferred selection of shaving cream generously. With your razor, you want to start with strokes going against the hair, just as you would shave your legs. Your pores should be open from the exfoliating, so going from bottom to top shouldn’t be a problem. You should find that your razor is moving along smoothly over your freshly exfoliated skin.

Step Three
Cold water closes pores. So on your way out of the shower, as you are turning the water off, give yourself a quick blast with the cool water and then pat dry. You should be feeling smooth and silky. To lock in moisture and to stay soft, apply baby oil for lasting results. If you’re really feeling in a perfectionist mood, you can whip out the tweezers to catch any strays, but it can start to get painful after a while!

And it’s that easy! The only downfall is that when a real Brazilian wax’s results last for up to 2-3 weeks, and unfortunately with a shave, your hair tends to start to grow back about 2-3 days later. However, it is a faster, more cost-effective and less painful option to achieve a beautiful smooth and sexy vagina.

To watch our video on pubic hairstyles check out this link: Pubic Hair Styles