This discussion comes soon after the announcement by Stephanie that she has yet to have an orgasm (Orgasms With A Lover, Part 1 & Orgasms With A Lover, Part 2). She also admits that she doesn’t masturbate, believing that if she’s going to masturbate, she might as well just invite her man over.

Here the ladies are trying to convenience her that there are benefits to masturbation – things you can learn about yourself alone that you can’t with a partner. However, I think what Rosemary says is a really good point … reaching orgasm alone is easier that with a partner because of the stimuli that goes on during sex.

I think that’s a concept we need to explore more. Yes, climaxing during masturbation is the route to climaxing with a partner; however, the two experiences are incredibly different – even if you come with a partner during self-stimulation.

One major difference is position. We often masturbate on our backs with our legs either bent or straight out. During sex, on top or doggie style tend to be more self-stimulation-friendly.

Another is headspace. During masturbation, all we are concerned with is our own enjoyment. Yet, during sex, we’re often conscious of our partner’s enjoyment and how it’s progressing.

A third is direct stimulation. During masturbation we’re usually still. However, sex involves a lot of movement.

Those are just three … I’m sure there’s more. But the bottom line is reaching orgasm during masturbation is a different experience than reaching orgasm with a partner. Sure, the two are relatable, but at their core, they are separate animals!

Watch Video: Comfort With Climaxing

In today’s video the women talk about missionary position. They all enjoy it, and three out of the five women on this panel can climax in missionary without any manual stimulation.

I continue to find it so interesting how different everyone is!! On another panel we did (Orgasm Go To Positions) none of the women could climax in missionary without masturbating. Fascinating, huh?? I believe there are a few things at work here.

The first is simply anatomy. We are all different sizes and none of our pelvises are exactly the same shape. Also, our lovers are different sizes so while we may be able to come via missionary without self-stimulation with one partner, we may not be able to with another based upon the way his penis and/or pelvis hits our clitoris.

There’s also experience. Some women know the exact position they need to be in, regardless of and/or based upon the size of their partner, for the friction to be precise in order to come via missionary. Lucky ladies!!

In addition, I also think it depends upon the type of orgasm or feeling one is looking for while on the bottom. Some women it seems don’t expect to have a clitoral orgasm while in missionary, just a vaginal orgasm. However, some experts say there isn’t really any such thing as a vaginal orgasm, that it’s actually a “blended” orgasm that includes the clitoris and vagina — otherwise there is no release.

That said, during our discussions this last year, many women think of the feeling of intense contractions within her vagina during sex as a vaginal orgasm regardless of no clitoral–like release. (Orgasm Sensations) And while the terminology may need to be perfected, I believe the more orgasms we are able to have — the better!

So anatomy, experience and perception, just a few reasons I believe many women can’t come in missionary without helping herself along, while others can. Now let’s go practice!

Watch Video: Orgasm and Missionary