Better Sex Through Self Lovin'

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Better Sex Through Self Lovin'

Masturbation can be beneficial for many reasons. Besides making us feel great, it informs our sexual responses, enabling us to better understand how our bodies react when we are with a partner. Sometimes though our reactions are still a mystery. (3:59)

Featuring:

Kristy	Celeste	Katie
San	Mo

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Comments(6)

	My husband was my first and feel like I am somewhat unexperienced. When my husband and I are having intercourse, I feel like I feel the need to please him first before me. I did read that if your selfish in bed that it becomes better for you and your partner, not sure if thats right.?. I also do feel like the video says I i can;t get myself there its my fault and sometimes i feel bad not letting my husband know that i did not get there. I do not masturbate as often as I did before I met my husband, because I feel that once I'm done I will not be able to get there after a while, is that normal, can someone explain. While we are at it, I feel like I cannot get the right motion, for instance, being on top. Some women like it and me for example i do not feel it and feel like any position I STILL cannot feel it, is that normal?	Comment by: unexperienced 11/05/2010 15:50:12

	Unexperienced, you are TOTALLY normal. Many women worry that their bedroom experience is lacking compared to others, and that they are not normal and/or doing something wrong. That's DEFINITELY not the case. Firstly, the idea of being "selfish" in bed isn't really true -- but, sex is certainly better for a couple there's an on going give and take between pleasure for each. It's not about one or the other, but the couple experiencing stimulation, intimacy, pleasurable sensations and generosity together. When it's simultaneous --great. But often it a back and forth. However, please remember, your satisfaction is as important as his during your sexual session. That said, it's unfortunately that you can't seem to find a position in which you are fulfilled with him inside you. On top, for many women, doesn't do it. Doggie style or missionary with ones feet on his shoulder/clavical does it for some. However, there are men with penises that are smaller than average, and unfortunately aren't able to fulfill a woman through typical intercourse (there are many alternatives, check out categories for more on this situation). As for masturbating -- I would recommend touching yourself during intercourse with your husband. They usually get totally turned on, and it's another way to insure you'll be fulfilled. Granted, it's easier said than done (some guys are insulted), but it might be a great way to begin the dialog that would be helpful about your lack of fulfillment -- and ways to help the situation. Hope this helped! Good luck.	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 11/09/2010 03:11:16

	Chickalee is totally right. Have you considered finding a guy who has a larger penis? Seems like you deserve a decent sex life.	Comment by: Fran 03/27/2011 06:06:50

	Hello Chckalee! Do you care to respond to Fran recommendation? I would love to hear it.	Comment by: Hello 04/08/2011 18:35:18

	If you can't please yourself, then you shouldn't demand someone else too. LAZY and unexperience is NOT an excuse. Fran, your shoe size must be your IQ score.	Comment by: FRAN'S A B 04/23/2011 09:25:08

	I would recommend that you dirsgeard most of, if not all of the previous replies.The answer is complex as there are a lot of variables that can make HIV transmission more or less likely (i.e. your personal health status, how well-controlled your HIV is, CD4 cell counts, viral load, whether or not you are taking antiretroviral medications, how long you have been positive, [if you are female] where you are in your menstrual cycle when having vaginal sex, and many many more.)I don't think that your question implies that you will not tell your partner, but obviously you must do so, so that this individual can make an informed decision related to any sexual activities. In SOME states, it is illegal to not disclose your HIV status to sexual partners, but that depends on where you live. Morally and ethically, though, you should always tell partners even if the type of sex you are having is low risk. BOTTOM LINE: you should use condoms for oral, vaginal, and anal sex to prevent HIV transmission. There is always a CHANCE of transmitting HIV during sex, in theory even if using condoms. What will change is the relative risk depending on the type of sex, condoms, etc. If you use condoms the risk will be much much lower. I would like to point out that the risk of transmitting HIV is never 100% like some previous posters have written, but you always need to take measures to protect yourself and others.As far as your particular question:If you perform oral sex on the man, the risk is relatively low UNLESS he has an open sore on his penis OR you have an open sore in your mouth. Do not brush your teeth or floss prior to performing oral sex as this could create minor cuts in your mouth or breaks in your gum line. Your question doesn't state whether you yourself are male or female, but as far as intercourse goes:If you are female, HIV can also be spread through vaginal fluids, as well as semen and blood. Again, you should use a condom AND disclose your HIV status. Any sores, cuts, etc. on your or your partners genitals could increase the risk. If you are a female having anal sex or a male having receptive anal sex (bottom), this is higher risk. Bleeding is not an accurate indicator for estimating risk of HIV transmission during sex because vaginal or anal penetration will cause stretching of the walls, and with friction, there will most likely be some kind of bleeding or fluid transmission although you won't necessarily be able to see it.I hope this is helpful information. It concerns me that this kind of information was not given to you when you received your diagnosis. If you don't already have a doctor, check out for some HIV specialists in your area. If there aren't any listed, most infectious disease specialists are also well-versed in HIV care. You should be seeing some for healthcare and addressing your concerns on a routine basis.Take care.	Comment by: Sukhsunder 08/20/2012 12:00:38