Help Him Help You Orgasm

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Help Him Help You Orgasm

Every lover is different … and while we know (or are learning) what gets us off, our partner may have no clue. But, with the right attitude, anyone can learn! Follow these tips to help your partner help you along. (4:10)

Featuring:

Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., M.S.Ed.

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Comments(25)

	Was this helpful to anyone? It took me a while to realize I could touch myself during intercourse.	Comment by: Juicy Girl 05/20/2008 23:36:07

	What do you do when your husband think its gross to give and recieve...he thinks his penis should not go in my mouth and going down on me is a no no.?????	Comment by: Tiana 09/23/2008 20:10:31

	Hmm, that's a hard one because attitudes like that are pretty deep seeded and most likely have to do with his feelings about sex in general. Firstly, which you probably have already done, is talk to him about it. Maybe if he can explain to you why he feels that way, you can help him work through it (explaining that there is no "normal" sex, and that if it feels good and both parties consent, it's worth exploring!). If that doesn't work, you may want to suggest visiting a sex therapist together to hopefully work through it. Good luck!	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 09/23/2008 20:51:20

	Re, Tiana and her husband's lack of interest in oral sex either way. As a man, I can't wait to eat my wife as often as possible and, likewise, love having her suck me, too. I even love licking her back side which drives her nuts when I'm touching her vagina. The trick to these things, though, is hygeine. Maybe you could ask him to shower with you or separately before you go to bed and show him just how delicious a nicely showered body can taste! It's worth a shot, no pun intended.	Comment by: MaleFYI 11/19/2008 12:51:54

	My husband does not like it when I play with myself during intercourse. He thinks it takes me too much into myself, and probably takes it personally that he cannot please me fully himself. Unfortunately I cannot have a full orgasm if I do not touch myself, as he just can't seem to get the "touch" just right. I have tried to teach him but he gets excited in the heat of the moment...which usually means too rough touch.	Comment by: whatsagirltodo 01/06/2009 13:59:29

	Hmmm, that's a tough one! Does he know that a majority of women need to stimulate themselves during intercourse to get off? It's true! Most of the Cherry TV women do!! But if he's putting the responsibility on himself to get you off, then it's not fair for him to do it only half way. He clearly "is too into himself" to get you off appropriately. When you self-stimulate, you both get off, correct? And it's still intimate, and loving and close and you share the experience, yes? Maybe if you remind him of all of that, and keep at it, he'll eventually understand that's it's not a matter of how you reach orgasm, it's just important that you get there. Good luck!	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 01/06/2009 23:34:13

	i can only orgasm when we use a toy during sex, but ive always wanted a straight up sex orgasm...could it be that i just cant have one with sex?	Comment by: orgasmwanted! 06/10/2009 17:32:13

	Hi Orgasmwanted! No, you can have one during intercourse, it just may take a lot of practice and trial with you and your partner. The key is to position yourself so that your clitoris is stimulated by his pelvis. In addition, you'll have to be mentally and emotionally in a place where you can climax -- not worrying about anything really, just relaxing and enjoying the moment. Many women self-stimulate during intercourse -- either with their hand or vibrator. It may be a great place for you to start. Good luck!	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 06/11/2009 00:33:36

	why will my masterbate with her vibrator and not admit that she does.	Comment by: james 07/20/2009 15:32:39

	I LOVE IT when my lover touches herself while I am inside her, or even when I am not. I LOVE the taste of her, too!!! Everything about a woman and her sexuality is beautiful!!!	Comment by: JohnnyE 07/25/2009 00:39:28

	I just recently got married and was a virgin. It was the worst pain I've ever felt and took more than a few times for it to stop hurting and/or feel uncomfortable. I need help and some good advice. My husband is feeling really bad and frustrated because he can't get me off during sex and I don't want to play with myself during for right now to get off. Are there any positions that will help or anything I can do to help him help me get off?	Comment by: New2this 12/02/2009 13:59:36

	Hi New2this, Firstly, do you masturbate -- not during sex, but on your own. If not, you should because if you don't know how to get yourself off, he certainly won't be able to. We have a great blog entry on it here: http://www.cherrytv.com/blog/f … turbation/, and plenty of videos on masturbation. If you do masturbate, than yes, there are positions that can help. At the top of the screen under "brows clips by category" we have videos on Orgasm and Positions that detail ways women climax during sex. Good luck!	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 12/02/2009 18:36:13

	hi ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years! we have been active for 2. but i have never had an orgasm:( HELP!!!	Comment by: iwant1too 12/07/2009 01:27:04

	Please search under the "browse by catalog" at the upper right of the page under masturbation and orgasm for advice.	Comment by: ladybug 12/07/2009 15:13:39

	kUDOS TO THE FOLKS AT CHERRYTV. This type of forum is what I've needed for a very long time.	Comment by: FullofSmiles 06/22/2010 13:47:41

	Before I got pregnant with my son, I was a very very horny girl, and was able to have tons of orgasms...it has now been 2 years since he was born and my sexual desire along with the orgasms have seemed to have vanished almost totally. I have tried masturbation with my hands, but I can never seem to get off on that. What should I do to make things get at least somewhat back to how things used to be?	Comment by: Nomoreorgasms!!! 06/29/2010 20:17:49

	It's good to touch yourself during sex especially if you touch him too. This way he benefits from your actions and it doesn't seem selfish. There is usually plenty of shaft, base, & balls exposed that need attention. Don't be afraid to explore yourself & your partner.	Comment by: eyelikhed 07/02/2010 16:30:42

	Nomoreorgasms!!! , It may be a hormonal thing. I would suggest checking with some of the motherhood sites -- they'll have more info. then us.	Comment by: ladybug 07/06/2010 10:21:18

	whats a blow job...SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!	Comment by: missypriss344 07/11/2010 01:09:44

	missypriss344, a blow job is oral sex. It's when a woman uses her mouth (and sometimes her hands too) on a man's penis. It can be used to get him aroused, stimulated and, if desired, orgasm.	Comment by: ladybug 07/12/2010 21:26:41

	I have a guy Im really into and he he is an awesome kisser and great at oral. Trouble is he is a bit smaller than my previous partners and I really miss fun intercourse. My friends suggested he use a strap on but I'm not sure it would feel the same and I'm worried he will be insulted- what do you think?	Comment by: sissy 03/04/2011 19:14:21

	Dr. Fulbright...with all the respect you may think you are due....your PATRONIZING (matronizing?) comments reduce men to esteem seeking little boys, Faking comments like "Oh..your the best lover ever" (from your SCRIPT) denies a couple from acheiving REAL INTIMACY. How can your lover feel good about himself, or the relationship you share, when your advice is to, basically, FAKE IT. REAL MEN (almost all of us) APPRECIATE a lover's kind and authentic guidence, such as "it feels better when we do ___" or "to the LEFT" or any other GENUINE feedback. You are sabotaging any real chance at intamacy for an ounce of control and a lie. Dr. Fulbright: SHAME! SHAME ON YOU!	Comment by: polydon 09/27/2011 03:35:21

	Does the penis increase in size after oral sex?When ginivg my boyfriend oral sex for the first time last night i noticed that his penis seemed alot larger than usual. He has a rather large penis already but it felt so much bigger after ginivg him oral sex. Does oral sex before intercourse increase the penis size or was it just my imagination? Also are there any benefits of ginivg and recieving oral sex before actual intercourse.	Comment by: Selhattin 08/23/2012 00:32:22

	I need help...I have been with my fiancee for 8 years...we have 3 beautiful children...we are still exploring LOL... the sex is wonderful I don't orgasm during actual intercourse but he touches, rubs, and even licks me I reach my orgasm...but my problem is I can't seem to reach my orgasm when I am masterbating by myself or with him watching...I know it would be a huge turn on for him to witness me masterbating and orgasm while I'm doing it....any suggestions	Comment by: aeh589 08/27/2012 21:55:24

	@ aeh589 - I've had a similar experience with my fiance where he wanted to see how I got myself off (not only for enjoyment, but he wanted to see which ways I liked to be touched) & I absolutely could not climax with him watching. So when we tried again, I closed my eyes & focused on the sensations rather than him watching me. Also, a big help was that this time, instead of him just watching, he stroked my legs, kissed my chest, ect. so it wasn't as if he was just spectating. Hope that helps!	Comment by: Cherry Fan 01/23/2013 10:04:17