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An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm …or is it? For some it changes, from something like a hiccup to off the charts. For others, it always feels the same. Here the women chat about the intensity of their orgasms ... and faking it. (4:29)
What's your experience? Do your orgasms range in intensity or do they tend to feel the same regardless?
Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee
I don't fake it either. Are fakers some mythical creature? Or are they just girls who've never had an orgasm in the first place? There is great benefit to letting him know exactly what you need to go all the way there. Why fake?
Comment by: snuffy
A question was asked among the women in this discussion about whether or not males can feel the pulsing of a woman's orgasm during sex and I will say that we usually can..at least I do. In fact, it is that pulsing that subconciously triggers an orgasm in us. Nature is amazing in that when a woman orgasms the pulsing pulls the penis toward the cervix and triggers the orgasm in males so that the semen and sperm are brought closer to the area of conception. Pretty neat!
Comment by: Tico 28
i feel like my orgasms range in intensity throughout my cycle. after i ovulate they decrease in length and intensity. then right before, and during my peirod they are better and longer and the few days berore i ovulate they can go on forever and are super intense. it may just be me but it seems like the hormones are more in charge than i wish they were.
Comment by: samantha
My orgasms definitely range in intensity and sometimes I feel like it has to do with my cycle -- days around ovulation I'm just retarded with sexual energy, it can be a true pain in the ass. But I think it has way more to do with my partner, where we are in the moment, how much shit is going on with us, or lack of shit.
And on faking it... I've definitely faked it, but probably not since I was 20. Not since I started dating people I actually liked.
Comment by: TurkeyHen
I don't think I've ever orgasmed...and I'm not sure why. I never feel anxious about it during sex, I'm completely comfortable with my boyfriend, and I've tried experimenting on myself alone. I feel like I've tried every trick in the book (except using a vibrator--never tried that). I'm just not sure where to go from here--I always end up giving up because I feel like it's more work than it's worth. But still, I enjoy sex a lot and I really want to know what it feels like to orgasm.
Comment by: gatesofeden
Gates of Eden,
It's not really unusual to be unsure whether or not you've had an orgasm. Women's sexual responses vary so much that it's hard to write any kind of textbook response as to what exactly a female orgasm feels like. This has interested me so much that, about a year ago, I asked each of my good female friends to define what an orgasm was to them... Not surprisingly, each one had a *very* different description. Nevertheless, they all agreed that the Hollywood, three-minute orgasm was not, in fact, an accurate portrayal of any of their experiences. This seems to make it hard for women to be able to identify whether or not they're having an orgasm (which- to some women- translates as identifying whether or not they're "working right.") In reality, though, there is no right. Generally speaking, you can expect some sort of involuntary muscle twitching as well as a surge of feel-good endorphins. Besides that, you'll find that there are many variations to this experience.
Do you feel like you have problems building up tension? Tightening your muscles+breathing slowly works wonders for many. The "bathtub trick" has also been helpful for a lot of women. Lay under the bathtub with your clit under the faucet. With some tubs, you'll have the ability to adjust the pressure as well as the temperature. (This can be a great idea if you don't have a sex toy and are starting to get a tired hand!) Also, if you haven't tried a vibrator, it may be a useful tool to figure out how to reach orgasm. Multi-speed vibrators can be great for first timers so you can experiment with different intensities.
My final bit of advice (which is ALWAYS easier said than done) is to try not to worry about or obsess over it. It's great that you're already having a satisfying sex life. Try to focus on the good feelings more than any anxiety you may have about having an orgasm.
Feel free to write in again. I hope this helps!
Comment by: LittleCherry!
Thanks for the advice. I do want to buy a vibrator and experiment with that.
And I have felt some involutary muscle twitching but I don't think that's ever happened with my boyfriend, only by myself when I was masturbating.
And actually, the big issue for me that I didn't really explain in my last post is that whenever I masturbate by myself, there are many times when I feel like I'm on the brink of orgasm, but then I get this feeling like my pelvic muscles are involutarily tensing TOO much, and I lose that build up that was happening. I've tried this so many times and always get the same result...the build up, I'm on the brink, and then it's as though my muscles tighten up too much to have an orgasm and I lose the feeling. Then I keep having to start over again because I never get a feeling of release. The muscle tension feels like something I can't control, because I'm always mentally relaxed when I masturbate and I have tried so many times to avoid this over-tensing, but it always happens. Have you ever heard of this happening with anyone else, and do you have any advice? Thanks!
Comment by: gatesofeden
Oh, I also have one other question:
I want to buy a vibrator (probably online), but the options are pretty overwhelming, so I'm wondering if you have a recommendation for a specific brand & model of a multi-speed vibrator that would be good for a beginner, as well as a website that would be a good source to buy from. I'm looking for something that is not expensive (I'm a college student) and fairly discreet (although that isn't a requirement).
I'm also in the market to buy a smaller or less phallic-looking vibrator (maybe a cock ring) to try out with my boyfriend.
Do you have any recommendations for either or both of those purchases? Thank you!
Comment by: gatesofeden
What you are experiencing with your muscles tensing is normal, and for some women, the beginning phase of an orgasm. Have you always given up once you start feeling tense (at least mentally give up?) or have you kept on going? Try pushing through it and breathing deeply. Breath helps. There's no right or wrong way to reach clitoral orgasm. Sometimes it happens when all our muscles are open and relaxed, other times it occurs when everything is tensed up. What you'll most likely experience when everything begins to tense is a desire to gradually increase constriction. You'll eventually hit a point when you can no longer constrict/tense your muscles - and then you're right there! Sometimes it will just wash over you and everything will release, or sometimes you need to continue breathing and relaxing (maybe fantasizing) prior to the release occurring. I'm sure this will work for you. Every woman is capable of climax, but we don't all reach it in the same way. Good luck! And let us know what ensues.
Regarding vibrators - I would suggest the "Pocket Rocket". It has a few speeds, is small and discreet and totally works! As for a cock ring - do you want a vibrating one? There are a few on the market, but honestly I haven't heard reviews of any of them. Regular cock rings are fun too, but make sure you know how to use it correctly because you don't want him to experience any pain! Good luck. Here are a few places to buy them:
(the least expensive)
(the most woman friendly)
Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee
Mine is more like a constant stream of pleasure where I'm laying tensed but happy the whole time! It's weird though because I never feel it peak. I feel like I could go all day if my guy can. I'm not sure what kind of vaginal orgasm it is but I know that once he's done I can finally relax and I feel extremely happy. Sometimes if he hasn't cum yet and wants to keep going I'm too tired from the pleasure and muscle tensing! But I still don't feel a peak in those cases either. Tis weird...but no complaints!
Comment by: rollercoasting
My penis isn't sensitive enough to feel a woman's vagina "pulse" during orgasm. The only time I've ever felt a "pulse" was while having anal sex with a girlfriend.
Tico mentions some "subconscious" reason for the prompting of a male orgasm. First, if you can feel the pulsing and it makes you cum, it is not a subconscious reaction. Secondly, if something is naturally subconscious, and has always been, then who was the supernatural being who enlightened humanity to the realm of non-perceiveable, beyond the perception of our consciousness, things?
Maybe I've had one too many beers after a too-hard day.
Comment by: Dienekes
This orgasm stuff I've already gotten to In the bathroom as I pour nice cool water on it. Very refreshing and I must say that I'm only 13! Is that to young?
Comment by: Do
Ok, I've never had sex before neither have I ever masturbatted. I don't usually like being touched but with my current boyfriend things are different, I LOVE when he touches me. He is ok with the fact that I'm not ready to have sex, so he gives me the "finger"(if I take 2 I'll bleed :-( ), the first few times I felt weired but as time went on he asked me if he's doing it right and I said yes, he asked if I've ever climaxed off him and I wasnt really sure what to say untill I wet my pants once and he was like that's kinda what I ment, by climax! I felt embarrassed so every other time after that when I feel it coming down I'd try real hard to hold back and or tell him to pull his finger out so I wouldn't cum again infront of him, is that something wrong with me doing that(considering we arent really having sex)?
As well why do I feel so tired after cum'n? And why does my body feel like it's go'n through a sezuire?
Oh and I really like your lil show thing here!
Keep up the good work!!!
Comment by: Simone Woolery
Simone --thank you for your kind words. Please know, there's never anything "wrong" with you doing anything sex-wise (except if it involves forcing someone else into situations they don't want to be in. But consulting adults -- everything is good and normal. EVERYTHING!). However, the fact that you are uncomfortable with him feeling your ejaculate is okay. It's where you are at right now. However, keep in mind that he would most likely **love** to feel it, and it's a natural, awesome part of sex that you shouldn't be embarrassed about (actually, the opposite, it's worth celebrating). As for the sensations you are having -- feeling you have to pee, seizure sensations, feeling tired afterwards -- awesome! That's called orgasm and you are very lucky to have a bf who is patient and able to bring you to that point manually. So you know, it's most likely not a result of his inserting his finger, but his stimulating your clitoris.
If you're not sure where the clitoris is, check out this video:
http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … e-clitoris
Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee
I have faked a lot, before it dawned on me that by faking it i was really cheating me outta one defffinatly, because some men, will try differnet things after they get off to help you. you know?
Comment by: Eden
Hi Cherry, love the site. Very informative info thankyou. Do you have any info on the kadal?(unsure of the spelling) exercises mentioned on this video please...:-)
Comment by: curious
i have had a lot of girls who do fake their orgasm when we have SEX. i've been wandering Y??????. can you help me with some clues on Y girls do this? most of the time i would just try to satisfy myself then let her go.
Comment by: Pretender
Curious, we have a great video on Kegel muscle exercises. Check out
http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … er-orgasms
Comment by: ladybug
Pretender, there are many reason a woman fakes it. Check out the following video to hear why ...
http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … ing-orgasm
Comment by: ladybug
I can (in most instances) feel the pulsing and contractions as my wife builds towards and achieves orgasm. And, as another poster has stated, it often triggers my own orgasm. The rapid and extreme contractions often create a suction or "milking" sensation along the shaft of my penis, sending me right over the edge with her.
Comment by: Jaded
I just love giving oral sex to women. I have seen, tasted and swallow the fluid (cum, milk, juice, whatever) that comes out of the vagina after they have an orgasm with almost all of the women I have ever had sex with (more than a hundred). You wanna ? Start loving it.
Every woman has a diferent color (some are almos ellow others very white, other almost transparent), flavor (some taste sweet others not so much), consistency (some are very liquid others not so much) on those fluids depending on the woman and the amount of times she has had orgasms recently.
Give her oral sex, then give her some more and after that give her more, and don't forget to really love it.
Comment by: JLQ.
never too young to masturbate, ive been doing it since i was 11 but even after 5 years of doing it ive never had an orgasm i dont think. ive had points where ive gone to a high and then everything just gets too overwhelming and i stop..also i always have had to use things off the internet to help ive never been able to just lie and go. i dont know why but i think it has something to do with the fact that i think i might get caught if i scream like in the porns and i dont want to so..im not really sure what my question is lol but HELP?! x
Comment by: BloomerLove
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Comment by: Sule
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