- Sex Galore But No Big O
Many of us had sex for years without knowing how to orgasm. Listen in...
- Sexual Positions We Don't Like
Do you have a sexual position you would rather avoid during intercourse? Listen in.
- Sexual Stirrings
The panel discusses their early sexual feelings and how they handled them!
- Getting Off During Intercourse
Do our partners bring us to orgasm, or do we? Listen in as the women discuss ....
- Advice On Fellatio Positioning
There are many positions from which to give a guy fellatio. Check out panelists favorites ...


































06/09/2008 08:10:44
06/11/2008 01:07:38
01/30/2009 21:11:03
02/23/2009 22:10:28
And on faking it... I've definitely faked it, but probably not since I was 20. Not since I started dating people I actually liked.
06/08/2009 19:57:12
06/18/2009 23:03:39
It's not really unusual to be unsure whether or not you've had an orgasm. Women's sexual responses vary so much that it's hard to write any kind of textbook response as to what exactly a female orgasm feels like. This has interested me so much that, about a year ago, I asked each of my good female friends to define what an orgasm was to them... Not surprisingly, each one had a *very* different description. Nevertheless, they all agreed that the Hollywood, three-minute orgasm was not, in fact, an accurate portrayal of any of their experiences. This seems to make it hard for women to be able to identify whether or not they're having an orgasm (which- to some women- translates as identifying whether or not they're "working right.") In reality, though, there is no right. Generally speaking, you can expect some sort of involuntary muscle twitching as well as a surge of feel-good endorphins. Besides that, you'll find that there are many variations to this experience.
Do you feel like you have problems building up tension? Tightening your muscles+breathing slowly works wonders for many. The "bathtub trick" has also been helpful for a lot of women. Lay under the bathtub with your clit under the faucet. With some tubs, you'll have the ability to adjust the pressure as well as the temperature. (This can be a great idea if you don't have a sex toy and are starting to get a tired hand!) Also, if you haven't tried a vibrator, it may be a useful tool to figure out how to reach orgasm. Multi-speed vibrators can be great for first timers so you can experiment with different intensities.
My final bit of advice (which is ALWAYS easier said than done) is to try not to worry about or obsess over it. It's great that you're already having a satisfying sex life. Try to focus on the good feelings more than any anxiety you may have about having an orgasm.
Feel free to write in again. I hope this helps!
-L.C.
06/23/2009 08:38:12
And I have felt some involutary muscle twitching but I don't think that's ever happened with my boyfriend, only by myself when I was masturbating.
And actually, the big issue for me that I didn't really explain in my last post is that whenever I masturbate by myself, there are many times when I feel like I'm on the brink of orgasm, but then I get this feeling like my pelvic muscles are involutarily tensing TOO much, and I lose that build up that was happening. I've tried this so many times and always get the same result...the build up, I'm on the brink, and then it's as though my muscles tighten up too much to have an orgasm and I lose the feeling. Then I keep having to start over again because I never get a feeling of release. The muscle tension feels like something I can't control, because I'm always mentally relaxed when I masturbate and I have tried so many times to avoid this over-tensing, but it always happens. Have you ever heard of this happening with anyone else, and do you have any advice? Thanks!
06/25/2009 12:44:39
I want to buy a vibrator (probably online), but the options are pretty overwhelming, so I'm wondering if you have a recommendation for a specific brand & model of a multi-speed vibrator that would be good for a beginner, as well as a website that would be a good source to buy from. I'm looking for something that is not expensive (I'm a college student) and fairly discreet (although that isn't a requirement).
I'm also in the market to buy a smaller or less phallic-looking vibrator (maybe a cock ring) to try out with my boyfriend.
Do you have any recommendations for either or both of those purchases? Thank you!
06/25/2009 12:58:35
What you are experiencing with your muscles tensing is normal, and for some women, the beginning phase of an orgasm. Have you always given up once you start feeling tense (at least mentally give up?) or have you kept on going? Try pushing through it and breathing deeply. Breath helps. There's no right or wrong way to reach clitoral orgasm. Sometimes it happens when all our muscles are open and relaxed, other times it occurs when everything is tensed up. What you'll most likely experience when everything begins to tense is a desire to gradually increase constriction. You'll eventually hit a point when you can no longer constrict/tense your muscles - and then you're right there! Sometimes it will just wash over you and everything will release, or sometimes you need to continue breathing and relaxing (maybe fantasizing) prior to the release occurring. I'm sure this will work for you. Every woman is capable of climax, but we don't all reach it in the same way. Good luck! And let us know what ensues.
Regarding vibrators - I would suggest the "Pocket Rocket". It has a few speeds, is small and discreet and totally works! As for a cock ring - do you want a vibrating one? There are a few on the market, but honestly I haven't heard reviews of any of them. Regular cock rings are fun too, but make sure you know how to use it correctly because you don't want him to experience any pain! Good luck. Here are a few places to buy them:
http://sextoy.com (the least expensive)
http://babeland.com (the most woman friendly)
http://wildinsecret.com (the classiest)
07/21/2009 07:29:22
12/10/2009 21:49:14
Tico mentions some "subconscious" reason for the prompting of a male orgasm. First, if you can feel the pulsing and it makes you cum, it is not a subconscious reaction. Secondly, if something is naturally subconscious, and has always been, then who was the supernatural being who enlightened humanity to the realm of non-perceiveable, beyond the perception of our consciousness, things?
Maybe I've had one too many beers after a too-hard day.
FWIW
01/21/2010 00:52:05
03/04/2010 22:56:58