Sex Galore But No Big O

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Sex Galore But No Big O

Some women reach orgasm easily – others don’t. Some know what they need physically to come – others don’t. Many women go for years without ever experiencing orgasm. Here the panel tells their stories and give advice on how to figure out what they need. (more...). (3:36)

Featuring:

Nora	Rosemary	Indy
Becky	Nicole

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Comments(47)

	LOVE TO KNOW	Comment by: PRINCE 12/27/2008 12:47:30

	Great Video...Thanks!	Comment by: Nina 12/30/2008 16:18:35

	Most women really need to find a man or tell their own man how to make them have an orgasm. Men dont know what women want, we have to tell them. My husband and I communicate alot about our sex life. I have an orgasm every single time we have sex. Having a good sex life makes the overall marriage that much more.	Comment by: tami 02/11/2009 13:39:27

	This is such a refreshingly honest site. I am so pleased that I came across this. I have sent this to both my daughters and am contemplating sending it to my son. I wish I had seen this oh about 35-40 years ago as I went for 12-13 years never knowing what orgasim was.	Comment by: Blaizen 03/15/2009 09:49:50

	Thanks everyone for your comments! We love hearing that people are benefiting from our content. That's what we're here for! To help women feel better about sex and sexuality!!	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 03/16/2009 11:21:45

	im only 20 and am convinced that i cant orgasm...had a massive chat about it with my boyfriend - he says he dosent mind that i cant, but i want to, for him and for me!!! now im going to try a vibrating dildo...any other tips? Thanku!!!	Comment by: Kate 03/30/2009 15:10:35

	Nope -- a simple vibrator will do it. Enjoy!	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 03/31/2009 12:25:41

	How can a vibrator be helpful if regular intercourse cant give you that same sensation, at least with the vibrating aspect?	Comment by: YoungLady 04/28/2009 19:46:54

	Dear YoungLady, Thanks for writing! I'm a little confused about your question, so if I answer this incorrectly, please let me know what you meant. If you're asking why the vibrating aspect of the vibrator helps, it's due to an increase in clitoral stimulation. Most women can't actually orgasm through intercourse alone, which may be due to a lack of clitoral stimulation during sex. That (possibly mixed with the pressure of pleasing a partner, as the video describes) can account for why vibrators/masturbation help some women orgasm, who hadn't been able to through intercourse only. If you were asking whether or not a vibrator can 'teach you' things which can also improve intercourse (even without the vibrating stimulation), I can elaborate on that, as well. Just let me know what you were thinking!	Comment by: LittleCherry! 04/28/2009 23:26:40

	Wow this website has helped me feel so much better about myself and my sex-life. I am 23 years old and newly married. The first time my husband and I had sex was our wedding night. I thought it was going to be AMAZING, but I hated it because it was so painful and I was clueless. I didn't realize sex took work and communication. Now I am at a place where it doesn't hurt, but it's not very pleasurable for me. I cannot orgasm during intercourse. I can through fingering, but I really want to orgasm during intercourse. Any suggestions on how to make this happen?	Comment by: Clover 05/11/2009 16:32:18

	Hi Clover! I'm so glad we're able to help you out. Many women can only orgasm during intercourse through self-stimulation. Check out the links below for a few places we discuss reaching orgasm during intercourse. Enjoy!! www.cherrytv.com/video/ mental-aspects-of-orgasm www.cherrytv.com/video/orgasm-go-to-positions www.cherrytv.com/video/ orgasms-with-a-lover-part-1 www.cherrytv.com/video/o-what-works-doesnt www.cherrytv.com/video/bigger-better-orgasms www.cherrytv.com/video/help-him-you-orgasm	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 05/11/2009 22:22:14

	Hi, I am 19 about to be 20. I come from a very conservative family so I have stayed away from sex for the most part. Masturbation is another thing I stay away from because I felt as if I was doing something wrong the three or four times I tried it. I am so glad to have come across your website because I feel now that it is okay to be open with sex and that I don't have to feel embarrassed for being curious. My boyfriend and I tried it for the first time the other week and I hated it because it was so painful. Is there anything we can do to make it less painful so the experience can be fun for the both of us?	Comment by: violet 05/15/2009 05:22:28

	Hey Violet, First of all, we're so glad you love CherryTV! In regards to your question, it's pretty typical to have pain during your first time having penile-vaginal intercourse (I assume that's what you're referring to when you say 'tried it'... Don't be afraid to correct me if I'm wrong, though!) If the pain continues, this is something which obviously needs to be addressed. Pain during intercourse can result from a variety of psychological and physiological factors... Here's a few general tips that help relieve many women's pain: (a) Take plenty of time for foreplay so that your body has time to prepare itself for intercourse and (b) load up on the lube. If the pain still persists, you should talk to your physician, who can run a few tests to pin-point the source(s) of your pain. It's very likely that as you become more comfortable with your body and sexuality, your pain will naturally decrease. Still, there's no shame in getting it checked out by a doctor. They've truly seen and heard it all! Pain is not something you should live with, and it's great that you're looking for answers. If you have any more questions, please write them in. Be safe, and have fun!	Comment by: LittleCherry! 05/15/2009 12:21:56

	I'm 14 years old. I've looked around on all sorts of sites and learned tips on masturbation. I'm very curious to find what an orgasm feels like, but I haven't achieved one yet. I've tried an electric toothbrush and it felt good, but not that good. Petting myself doesn't feel so good either, there's only one spot in the middle that feels good and it tickles so it's hard for me to stay on it for a long time. I relax, play calming music and do everything I've read, but still nothing. Please help? Thanks!	Comment by: Lady 05/25/2009 02:16:28

	Hey Lady, That's a very normal problem you've got going on... No worries!!! If it tickles so much, you might be experiencing over-stimulation. If it feels too intense, try to slow things down. Maybe this will mean not using the electric toothbrush at a certain point- maybe you'll want to invest in a vibrator with multiple speeds/intensities. You might also want to try masturbating in the bathtub. Position yourself under the faucet so the water hits your clit... You'll be able to adjust the amount of water passing through, which might help you find pressure that isn't too much. Also, though it's easier said than done, try not to think too hard about having an orgasm. If you're really worried about it, it probably won't happen. In regards to what an orgasm feels like, everyone describes it differently (and different orgasms can feel diferent for the same person). Generally, you can look for a rush and spasm of muscles. Afterwards, you'll feel the muscles in your body begin to relax. If you have any more questions, let us know. It sounds like you're off to a good start, though. Take care!	Comment by: LittleCherry! 06/01/2009 19:28:55

	It's wonderful to see women empowered about their sex lives. A lot of my experiences have been validated by watching your videos and it makes me feel relieved that others have followed a similar path before me. I'm looking forward to being as empowered as you all are. A very big thank you to you all for sharing your realities,	Comment by: mammal 06/18/2009 00:29:13

	I went about 4 years with my ex without nothing the O until I am with my new guy and he please me and gave me many O. Maybe his cock is bigger and wider.lol	Comment by: Sweet_K 06/20/2009 03:44:19

	I don't arouse myself but want to orgasm on a regular I'm 32 been active for 13 years...please help	Comment by: Babegurl 07/29/2009 01:34:48

	Babegurl, Do you mean you don't masturbate or that you're unable to orgasm when you do? Please let me know, and I'll give you my best advice. :) Take care!	Comment by: LittleCherry! 08/03/2009 20:21:35

	Since i was young, I like to squeeze my hips together and i think i orgasm from it (a bit of spasms and sweaty). Nothing comes out though. Now that I am 21 and in a strong relationship, I need to learn how to orgasm by direct stimulation because i cant squeeze during sex. Ive tried to masturbate how most women to, via clit and with a sex toy, but no luck. Help!!	Comment by: Nicky 08/04/2009 13:38:54

	Hey Nicky! For most women, orgasming takes physical AND mental work. Do you take time beforehand to get yourself in the mood? If you have a lot on your mind, you might want to write a to-do list out before you masturbate. This will let you focus more on your pleasure than tomorrow's chore list. You might also want to try lighting candles, listening to music, reading a book, and so on. It can become especially difficult to orgasm when the 'big O' becomes a goal, rather than an added bonus. It's difficult to get this off your mind, but try your best to focus on the good feelings. *Keep in mind that doctors have estimated that inorgasmia can be 'cured' by education rather than medication for about 80% of patients. It's very unlikely that you have anything physically wrong with you, although there is no shame in asking a doctor for help if things don't improve. If you have any specific physical questions, let us know, as well!	Comment by: LittleCherry! 08/04/2009 16:51:33

	Thank You! I will listen to your suggestions!. Ill keep you guys updated =]	Comment by: Nicky 08/04/2009 17:37:39

	I found using a massager like a back or leg massager that you can control the speed is a lot more satisfying....plus it is great for foreplay as well.. you can have a big O before intercourse even starts and then if you want you can concentrate on him getting his since you were already "taken care of" :O)	Comment by: Danika 08/05/2009 22:11:40

	I had a girl friend who had problems having an orgasm. She would always take a break to go pee. At that time in my young life, I was unaware that such a larger number (than 1%) of women are squirters.... who think they have to pee.... which makes them tense up and hold back. Do you have any video discussions relating to this issue?	Comment by: tense to stop peeing 08/11/2009 19:26:33

	brefer no to say now	Comment by: waseim 08/30/2009 08:11:18

	Is squirting related to orgasm? Are they the same thing? I have been sexually active since 13. I am 19 now. I can tell when a sexual intercourse is satisfying ... i feel a strong urge to pee. Its such a strong impulse that its often difficult to hold back.... and yet to save myself from the embarrassment, i have to rush to the bathroom. I am totally confused. Is this what is called an orgasm?	Comment by: tanya 11/07/2009 15:02:51

	Yes, squirting is related to orgasm, but a G-spot orgasm. Your urge to pee comes from the pressure your partner's penis is putting of a swab of tissue that wraps around the urethra -- this tissue being the g-spot. Here's more information on it ... http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … pot-basics http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … pot-orgasm It sounds though as if you haven't experienced a clitoral orgasm yet -- the female equivalent to a male orgasm -- because if you have, you would know. But don't worry or feel weird about it. Many women haven't experienced clitoral (or even g-spot) orgasm after having sex for decades! Regardless, here's some helpful videos on it ... http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … masturbate http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … connection http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … techniques http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … -and-the-o http://www.cherrytv.com/video/ … -of-orgasm Good luck!	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 11/09/2009 07:40:05

	a wise man once said that a whole womans body is erotic and the mans is central. having orgasms isnt just about the in and the out and thats why foreplay is important :)	Comment by: kit 11/20/2009 23:33:40

	hi! as a man, perhaps i shouldn't be here, but i find it very enlightening to hear women talking openly about sex. it's very interesting the way women reduce male sexuality down to a sort of orgasmic itch. 'its all about them reaching the finish'. this is not my experience AT ALL. my sex life has always centred around the womans orgasm. it was always about pleasing her and postponing my own orgasm, never about reaching my own sort of finish. generalizations are so prevalent in women's understanding of male sexuality, and it actually shocks me to hear some of the things you're all saying. a man has as much emotional involvement as a woman in sex, and his orgasms are not simply ejaculation. I could go on and on, but I just needed to comment because it's all very frightening to hear women's ideas about men	Comment by: guy 21 11/26/2009 18:31:15

	hi there, i happened across your website, and love the advice. i was just wondering... when i was with my ex, when we were just fooling around i would get really wet. and when we had sex i would be very wet, but i could never get an orgasm from him. but when i masturbate i dont get wet but i can acheive an orgasm. is that weird? (to better phrase the question, why do i get so wet while having sex but cant acheive an orgasm, and why when i masturbate can i acieve an orgasm but i dont get wet?)	Comment by: kate 11/30/2009 06:58:19

	Guy 21, you need to watch more videos on this site, and be informed, before you criticize our viewpoint. As you'll see. we don't feel men are not involved emotionally, as emotionally, in sex as women are.	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 11/30/2009 10:16:11

	I am 45 years old and have never had an orgasm with a man. I can through masturbation, so I know its possible. I have the best partner who I am totally comfortable with and adore, we talk about it and try like crazy. He is fantastic in bed and it all feels great, I just donâ€™t get there? Is it because I have been doing it one way all my life (since very young)? I read that it could be that I am just not letting go but I feel totally comfortable. Help!	Comment by: want to get there 12/14/2009 13:48:42

	Kate, I am going to pass your question on to one of our medical advisers ... but meanwhile, it seems that your wetness is associated with desire -- emotional and physical -- while masturbating is all physical. I would assume when you are masturbating you are basically doing it to orgasm, yes? It's purely about arousal, not desire. However, when you are having sex with your husband, a lot more is going on -- you are aroused and filled with desire ... and hence getting wet. I would assume you are not reaching orgasm while with your husband because the right parts aren't being stimulated -- as opposed to masturbation where it's direct pressure on your clitoris. Does this seem to make sense? What do you think?	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 12/15/2009 02:21:45

	ok, I am 33. Starting masturbating at 31 (sad, isn't it lol) I try so hard to have orgasms and sometimes reach an orgasm but it only last 5 seconds. I did not think that having an orgasm while having intercourse was that common. This only frustrates me more because as comfortable as I think I am having sex, I just cant see that happening or how to. Nicole mentioned at the end that a friend gave her advice and that that advice worked for her. Can she pass on the good advice for me? thanks	Comment by: Liv 12/19/2009 21:58:39

	I'm 21 and have been sexually active for a few years. I"m not a bit masturbater but the more I talk to people the more it seems that the only way I'll learn to have an orgasm at all is through masturbation. Though I feel like I have a problem ... okay a few. I guess maybe I can't get into my own head enough? One of the women in your videos talks about being able to turn herself on, I feel like I can't. I'm like, "Oh well thats me touching me. Big whoop." And when I start to slip out of that mind set becuase the clitoral sensation really feels good, it starts to be overwhelming and almost hurt. I'm so confused by my own body!	Comment by: Ireland 12/20/2009 01:24:04

	Ireland, have you tried fantasizing? Or looking at video/pictures you find sexy? Or reading female-centric erotic? It may get you feeling sexed-up. And if you are finding that the clitoral sensation is beginning to hurt, than you're doing it too hard. So, we advise: try going slower or lighter; think sexy thoughts (like a man you desire touching you all over, or having sex in a risque place, whatever works for you); and relax ... hopefully that will work.	Comment by: ladybug 12/22/2009 01:55:49

	Hi Liv, a 5 second orgasm is pretty standard. And you are right, it's not all that common for women to reach orgasm during intercourse. However, if you are able to position yourself in a way so that your clitoris is rubbing against his pelvis, or super-hard penis, it could happen. Meanwhile, the advice Nicole referred to is simply that her friend gave her a vibrator -- and once she realized that she was to use it on her clitoris .... BOOM!	Comment by: ladybug 12/22/2009 01:59:54

	Hi all- So, I'm 26, and I experienced my first orgasm at the age of about 8 climbing a pole on the playground at school. I guess you can also say that I have been masturbating ever since- but always by rubbing up against something like a pillow tight between my legs...similar to a pole on a playground. I've had a FEW orgasms during sex with a similar motion, but that is it. I've got a vibrator that seems to do nothing for me, and I experiment. Am I doomed to this one possible orgasm, or is there hope?	Comment by: March 12/29/2009 22:04:59

		Comment by: Dutchie 04/26/2010 08:46:21

	i am a 40 yr old woman and been sexually active since i was 15 .. but have NEVER experienced an orgasm. HELP! Do u think i should go to a sex therapist or do u just think some women never orgasm, i love giving and rec oral sex and have a very attentive partner but nothing seems to work	Comment by: soo curious 05/16/2010 04:42:05

	sooo curious, there are videos all over this site to help. simply search by category under orgasm (and masturbation) and you'll find a lot of advice.	Comment by: ladybug 05/16/2010 21:31:43

	hey! i'm 23 years old and i've never had a real orgasm. i do masturbate regularly and i do have a boyfriend who's very supportive, but for some reason it hasn't happened. i usually feel a 'high' - almost like a jolt, but that's about it. i've never had the pelvic contractions that real orgasms are really about. even with penetration and clitoral stimulation its just a strong tingling feeling that lasts only about 2-3 seconds. i'ld be really grateful for any kind of advice. thanks!!!	Comment by: cottoncandy 05/18/2010 11:51:28

	cottoncandy, please read prior comments before posting. the one directly before yours explains how to get advice.	Comment by: ladybug 05/18/2010 23:34:20

	hey! i've been achieving my orgasm for past few years by pressing thick blankets in between my legs and imagining i'm having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend. i would like to know whether is it safe?will it bring any harm later on?	Comment by: pinkrose 06/05/2010 15:14:04

	It's safe and a great way to climax. A lot of women enjoy reaching orgasm by keeping their legs straight and squeezing. Personally, I have found not all men can handle it -- but some can by keeping their legs straight outside your and you both doing slight movements in order to stimulate your clit against his penis without him falling out. Good luck and enjoy!	Comment by: Cherry TV Chickalee 06/06/2010 16:31:12

	hey, i'm 18 and i started having regular sex a few months ago with my boyfriend. he tries hard to make me come through clitoral stimulation, but it just isn't happening. i've heard that masturbation has been what's helped many women reach their first orgasm but i haven't really enjoyed self-masturbation the few times i've tried it, even while trying to fantasise about something sexual (and failing). i'm wondering if future orgasms would be easier to attain if i could crack the first one with a vibrator but i'm not sure that it works that way.	Comment by: Miki 06/08/2010 07:32:09

	vibrators help because they teach you what orgasm feels like and the types of pressure that get your there. on there other hand -- it makes orgasm so easy that it's sometimes tempting to continue using the vibe and not go back to using your hand (which can get mighty tired after working it for a while!).	Comment by: ladybug 06/08/2010 12:30:30