Vibrators, Masturbation & Sex

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Vibrators, Masturbation & Sex

Can we improve our sex lives with a partner by learning from the ways that we masturbate? Does sexual self-awareness, often obtained through masturbation, help in the bedroom? Here the women discuss the differences between masturbation and intercourse. (4:28)

Featuring:

Rev Jen	Sarah	Jill F.
Sandy	Melissa

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Comments(12)

	Is it bad if a masturbate (pretty hard) every day?	Comment by: a girl 04/04/2010 15:22:12

	No -- it's not bad to masturbate every day. Actually, it's a good thing! And most men masturbate many times a day However, one can become dependent upon the sensations created while masturbating ... dependent so that other stimuli are not as effective. This can happen if you use a vibrator, on high, most of the time ... then when you are with a partner, the sensations don't provide the stimulus you need to climax (or get close). No worries though!! All you have to do is refrain from using your vibe for a little while -- use you hand, or nothing, and soon the slightest stimulant will have you raring to go!	Comment by: ladybug 04/04/2010 21:28:05

	^ i'd say that many men masturbate at least once a day, but i doubt many men have time to do it more than once or twice a day. at least, that is how it is for me. We need time to "recharge our batteries" so to speak, so it's not like once we orgasm we can do it again, plus, unless you don't have a full time job there isn't a lot of time to do it more than once a day,	Comment by: a guy 03/02/2011 21:56:45

	Hey guys ( and girls!!!) im pretty young and i masturbate 1nce a day ( most of the time) my parents dont know i even know about sex much less masturbation... What do i do? Wait 4 them 2 tell me or tell them? Please answer!!!	Comment by: Heeeeyyyyyyy girlz!!! 03/22/2011 22:24:50

	I have 5 children. Parents sometimes don't see everything but can read signs pretty well. Your Mom may know and may not be saying anything. At any rate. I would not say anything yet but wait for the opportunity to present it. Unless you are sexually active with anyone else, it may be wise to just keep it to yourself. Just remember, the more you do it, the more you risk becoming desensitized to others and even yourself.	Comment by: JR 08/30/2011 19:39:12

	i am ignorant about sexual life and i the information so bad	Comment by: need2know 09/13/2011 16:51:33

	Fuck you girls	Comment by: Mukhtar 01/07/2012 10:39:46

	I am a masturbate maniac I am quite young but i cant help it. Should i carry on with this?	Comment by: sextoy 01/15/2012 11:17:04

	Very interesting! Its great to hear for different views.	Comment by: Em 02/04/2012 22:33:35

	its a sin to masturbate. be ware	Comment by: styles 06/08/2012 06:21:43

	I have masturbating phases, sometimes I's daily and I want nothing more than that privacy to masturbate then there are times where I don't even think about anything of the sort. I haven't ever used my fingers or a vibrator/dildo to orgasm just straight clitoral rubbing so using these things is very foreign to me. I am very eager but my boyfriend is afraid he will become useless	Comment by: Xio 10/21/2012 22:47:32

	Kate good stuff, thanks!One good way for a wife to deal with this is to use this arltcie as a jumpingoff point. Don't accuse him, rather say you realise he might sometimes feel theneed when he does not think you are interested or willing. Tell him you wantthe right of first refusal. If he tells you he needs something, you have threehours (or whatever) to do it for him, after that he can do it. Yes, a few guysmay take advantage of this, but most men will gladly take a wife up on such anoffer.As to the whys -One big issue for men is having sex consistently. Our drivedoes not change over a month long cycle, and it takes a lot more stress,tiredness, lack of sleep or whatever to kill our desire and need. There is somelevel of sex that a man needs to feel balanced physically and mentally. Havingthis level met by his bride also makes him feel understood and loved. Beyondthis minimum level, there is a desire for far more, and it is in that desirethat you find his more emotional and relational needs and desires.What he wants beyond the minimum is not just about orgasm and release it'sabout intimacy, and the woman loves. His hand can't give him that. But his handcan take care of that minimum. So, take for example, a man who would gladly havesex daily. That is what he wants, what he could and would like to enjoy. However,there is a lower level that is what he needs to feel balanced.a0 That levelmight be every other day. If a wife meets that lower level fairly well (thingshappen, we understand) most guys will not turn to masturbation (unless there isongoing porn, which is another issue). If, on the other hand, a man's wife regularly fails to meet that minimum need,then he will struggle in a number of ways. Trying to explain this to a woman islike trying to explain birth to a man you have to experience it to really getit. Please trust me that it is a real problem in many ways, and not somethinganyone who has experienced it would wish on anyone. I'm not saying it's rightfor a guy in this situation to DIY, especially if he has not explained thesituation to his bride, but it is understandable why a man would choose thisroute.If you are thinking ""I've never failed to meet his needs",please rethink. Do you meet his needs the vast majority of the time, or justwhen you feel good and things are going well? If you let it go for a few weeks acouple of times a year, your husband has learned that he can't count on you.(It's just like the places where you have learned you can't count on him.) Oncehe starts to take care of himself, it becomes easy to just keep doing it –especially if he can justify it by looking at your past “failures”.Another very real possibility is that he has failed to be honest with you abouthow much he needs. If you’re having sex twice a week, and he feels his minimumis double that, he may fear telling you he wants more will put the twice a weekat risk. I suggest a good talk with him about this ask what he thinks wouldbe the max he could enjoy, and then what his minimum is. (Having this talkright after you have done “something just for him” may encourage him to be morehonest.)Guys also choose masturbation over their bride because they don't want to takethe time or energy needed for love making. A couple of minutes in the showerand it's taken care of. That's not nearly as good as making love, but if a guyis tried, stressed, short on time, or just selfish, it can look like a betterchoice. In this case, dealing with the root issue is the way to go.	Comment by: Memo 12/20/2012 17:10:52